All over the world, people are stuck in their homes with little do except worry about the coronavirus pandemic and the resulting global economic depression.
In times like these, unlikely heroes emerge -- and because humanity is currently living out the weirdest possible timeline, the man who has come forward to offer us some much-needed distraction is an imprisoned, polygamous, mulleted, gun-toting redneck with a serious jones for big cats.
Yes, if you somehow haven't heard of the Netflix docuseries Tiger King, we'd like to congratulate you on awakening from your 2-week coma.
The bad news is, humanity is coming to end.
The good news is, Joe Exotic is here to guide us through this troubled time.
It's almost impossible to do justice to this absolutely bonkers series with a synopsis, but we'll give it a shot:
Joseph Allen Schreibvogel-Maldonado-Passage, aka Joe Exotic was the owner and operator of a controversial Oklahoma zoo that specialized in tigers and other exotic creatures.
But his conflict with Carole Baskin -- a Florida-based big cat enthusiast and possible murderer who took issue with Joe's business practices -- eventually landed Joe behind bars.
Now, that's a bit like saying Titanic is a movie about a boating expedition that doesn't go quite as planned.
You really have to watch Tiger King to fully grasp the insanity -- just ask Cardi B.
Like so many of us, the rapper has developed a full-blown Tiger King obsession, and she's taken it upon himself to see that Joe Exotic is allowed to roam free as a protected endangered species.
"They did Joe so dirty over and over again," Cardi said on Instagram.
She also announced plans to start up a GoFundMe on Joe's behalf, vowing, "He shall be free."
Yes, it seems Cardi is unabashedly Team Joe -- and anti-Carole.
It's hard to come away from Tiger King without feeling at least a little sympathy for Joe Exotic, but one of the things that makes the doc so brilliant is that each of the central characters possesses a unique set of equally villainous traits.
In writers rooms all over Hollywood, professional scribes try and fail to come up with conflicts as nuanced and morally ambiguous as the battle for big cat supremacy.
Carole Baskin might run the most traditional operation, but according to the film there's reason to believe she may have murdered her husband.
As you may have guessed, Carole is less than thrilled with the way she was portrayed in Tiger King.
She and her husband Harold Baskin issued a sternly-worded public statement about the film this week.
Basically, she Carole claims she was duped into participating by a series of fals promises.
"When the directors of the Netflix documentary Tiger King came to us five years ago they said they wanted to make the big cat version of Blackfish (the documentary that exposed abuse at SeaWorld) that would expose the misery caused by the rampant breeding of big cat cubs for cub petting exploitation and the awful life the cats lead in roadside zoos and back yards if they survive," the Baskins said.
"There are not words for how disappointing it is to see that the series not only does not do any of that, but has had the sole goal of being as salacious and sensational as possible to draw viewers," they added.
Meanwhile, the other memorable characters have mostly kept mum about the film, which is somewhat surprising, considering none of the major players are depicted in a flattering light.
There's Doc Antle, for example, who might be the most knowledgeable caretaker of the bunch -- but he also might be the R. Kelly of the big cat world.
As for Joe Exotic ... well, he's a complicated man, but as so many have already said, it's hard not root for him, despite his many, many faults.
Basically, Joe's legless security guard, his arms dealer/campaign manager, and the woman who got her arm ripped off by a tiger and came back to work a few days later are the only ones who come away from this thing clean.
And if that description doesn't have you pressing play on episode one of Tiger King, we don't what to tell you.
You're gonna be quarantined for another month, anyway; might as well join in on the discussion of what a repugnant POS Jeff Lowe is.
Seriously, that guy is the absolute worst.