On Monday night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, there was a good deal of talk about James Kennedy’s drinking problem.
And while it certainly seems as though James has some serious issues with the sauce, it’s important to bear two things in mind:
1. As Brittany Cartwright so aptly observed, dude is a colossal douche even when he’s stone sober, and
2. He’s certainly not the only former SUR staffer who gets a little ornery when he’s had a few too many.
For example, at this point, Stassi Schroeder’s tendency to get hammered and flip the f-ck out on her loved ones at her birthday parties is such an established pattern that it’s become a running joke among the cast.
Of course, it’s the sort of thing that’s funny when you look back on it a year later, but painful for everyone involved (including Stassi) in the direct aftermath.
This week’s installment of Vanderpump was bookended by Stassi meltdowns, but to be fair, she may have been at least partially sober and not totally at fault for the second one.
The episode started off with the fallout from Stassi’s weird Game of Thrones/Christmas-themed 30th birthday bash — which ended with her going off on boyfriend Beau Clark, who decided to party a while longer rather than joining Stassi in bed at her command.
“I’m really sorry,” a sobbing Schroeder told Clark the day after her boozed-up tirade.
“It was like you d*ck punched my heart,” Clark responded.
“I don’t want to do that with you. I don’t want to be mean,” said Stassi, clearly devastated by her own behavior.
“I don’t know. I’m so f–king concerned that you’re going to leave me because of the way that I act … I’m a d**k. I’m an erect d**k,” she cried.
Calling yourself a limp d-ck would probably be a worse self-burn, but we see Stassi’s point.
“I’m not going to find something like him again I just have to be really careful not to screw it up,” she later said in a confessional segment.
Stassi was able to patch things up with Beau, much to the delight of her mother … who proceeded to shine a big bright spotlight on Stassi’s psychological issues by shaming her daughter for nearly driving Beau away.
"I don’t want you to be yourself and mess it up. I’m hoping he’s a strong enough guy to go the distance," Dayna complained after loudly griping that Stassi "hasn’t frozen her eggs yet.”
The situation later led to Stassi storming away from a group dinner and confessing that she fears ending up like her hard-partying mom.
“Sometimes I get this victim mentality and freak out like my mom. And I’m scared that one day that’s going to be me,” she wept.
Booze plays a big role in just about every non-competitive reality show, but it’s possible that no show on TV has such a problematic relationship with the sauce as Vanderpump.
It’s not just that the SUR staff knocks back more hard stuff than the cast of Mad Men, it’s the fact that several of them have basically begged for help, and their pleas consistently fall on deaf ears.
The severity of the situation is not lost on the entire cast, as Lala Kent recently revealed that she’s now sober after "losing [herself]" in the LA club scene.
As terrible as James is, the rest of the cast should have at least attempted an intervention before booting him out of the group.
Last night’s episode featured a scene in which Stassi broke plates while screaming about her drinking problem in a rage room.
When your inability to handle your booze pisses you off as much as sky-high rents in LA, it might be time for your friends to step in.