We might not like to think about it, but to a large extent, the course of our life is determined within the first few minutes.
Your genetic composition, your parents, your name -- all these things were set in stone long before you had even learned how to work your thumbs.
That last one may seem like it's the least important.
After all, what's in a name?
Well, if you have the misfortune to be born to people with ridiculously bad taste and an endless thirst for attention, you could end up saddled with a moniker that will cause you to dread role calls for the rest of your days.
Take the plight of poor Abcde Redford, for example.
The 5-year-old (whose name is pronounced -- shudders -- "ab city") made headlines today thanks to an unfortunate incident at an airport in Santa Ana, California.
As Abcde's mother, Patricia Redford, explained to a local news affiliate, she and her daughter were headed home to Texas, when a Southwest Airlines employee just couldn't help but remark on the young girl's easy-to-spell name.
“So I turned around and just said, ‘Hey, I can hear you, so if I can hear you, my daughter can, too. I’d appreciate if you’d just stop,’” Patricia told reporters.
“While I was sitting there, she took a picture of my boarding pass and chose to post it on social media, mocking my daughter," Redford added.
"It was actually brought to my attention by somebody who had seen it on Facebook and reported it to Southwest Airlines.
"And after two weeks of doing a formal complaint, Southwest hadn’t done anything.”
Okay, obviously it's never okay for an adult to pick on a child.
But JFC, Patricia, it's never okay to name your child after the beginning of the alphabet and pronounce it like a rejected nickname for The Situation!
The good news is, Southwest has issued a formal apology to the Redfords.
The bad news is, it doesn't appear that Patricia has learned anything from this incident.
At press time, it still appears that little Abcde is expecting to go through life saddled with that accursed name.