As evidenced by the Kim Kardashian sex tape, at least one cast member on Keeping Up with the Kardashians knows a thing or two about how to handle a rod.
This was relevant on Sunday night because former Major League Baseball superstar Alex Rodriguez, often referred to by the nickname "A. Rod," made an unexpected cameo on the popular reality series.
Can't say we saw that coming.
Also the boyfriend of Jennifer Lopez, Rodriguez was on hand to help the ladies with their baseball skills in anticipation of a charity game that was held to raise money for the Watts Community Center.
This is an interest in which Kris Jenner has often decided to devote her time and interest.
The big and very poorly-played game pitted the Kardashian family -- including Kim, Kourtney, a then-pregnant Khloe, Kris and Kendall -- against family pal Tito Jackson and his loved ones.
The Kardashians called themselves the Calabasas Peaches due to the movie A League of Their Own... and they were very much in a league of their own terriblenesss.
"The Jacksons have to go down," Rodriguez said in an attempt to coach the women up, adding:
"Dear God, let us all play like New York Yankees."
(Editor's Note: The Yankees just lost a playoff game by a score of 16-1 and a series to their hated rival, the Boston Red Sox, so perhaps playing like the most recent version of the Bronx Bombers was not a great idea.)
Editor's Note 2: A. Rod is a giant tool.)
In the end, the Jacksons thrashed the Kardashians, with Kim going down on strikes faster than she went down on Ray J in the aforementioned sex tape.
"We should just hand over the check now because we suck," she later said.
Still, the game raised $15,000 for a charity that helps underprivileged kids.'
"I can’t wait to celebrate all the hard work that was put into the community center,’ said Kris as the family toured the kitchen, sports facilities and computer center at the facility.
Elsewhere, Scott Disick and Khloe Kardashian played a pretty dumb prank on Kris by pretending that a talented artist named Art Vandelay had made some paintings.
They then dropped these paintings off at Jenner's house and watched as she wandered around her house, wondering where to hang them.
So much for her so-called expertise in the world of expensive art, right?!?
Disick and Kardashian were intent on embarrassing their snobby loved one, but soon realized they had maybe gone too far.
"We have to break it to her that we’re completely lying…and basically giving her fraudulent paintings," Disick noted in a confessional.
Over dinner at Nobu that evening, they allowed Kris to schmooze with the fake artist before they dropped the bombshell that she had been had.
"What? No!" Kris yelled upon learning that the paintings had been created by Khloe in her garage.
"You are pieces of sh-t…you had me this time!" Jenner boomed.
Finally, because the writers are truly out of storyline material, Kourtney ordered a DNA test.
"Oh my God I’m Middle Eastern and North African!’ said Kourtney, who was also "4.5 percent French."
"I’m so white," complained Kendall, while Khloe added:
"I’m 41.5 percent Middle Eastern."
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