When you hear the words "Josh Duggar" and "court" together, it's tempting to fantasize about an alternate reality in which the disgraced former reality star was actually held accountable for his sex crimes and imprisoned.
The bad news is, that dream will never become a reality.
The good news is, Arkansas court officials are currently raking Josh over the coals and reminding the world of what a horrendous person he really is.
Josh is suing the Springdale Police Department, claiming that the decision to release documents about his past sexual assaults resulted in loss of income and "emotional distress."
In one way, we admire the department's restraint in not simply beating the holy hell out of a molester who's whining about the "emotional distress" he suffered after news of his crimes went public.
In every other way, we wish they would do exactly that, because seriously -- f-ck Josh Duggar.
Fortunately, the Springdale police are issuing the legal equivalent of a beatdown by refusing to settle with Josh out of court (as he would no doubt prefer) and lambasting the father of five in savage court documents:
“Josh Duggar notes that he has a ‘certain level of celebrity’ and that he engaged in public life," reads one such filing.
"Yet he claims that by appearing in a popular reality television series, being a leader in national, political, and civic organizations, and engaging in public speaking, he somehow was conducting himself in a manner consistent with an expectation of privacy.”
Lawyers for the department go on to blast Josh as “absurd” and "ridiculous" for believing the documents related to his crimes should have been destroyed on his 21st birthday.
The lawsuit is part of Josh's current comeback tour, which fortunately is not going according to plan.
The Duggars have been slowly reintroducing Josh to fans with the obvious goal of eventually bringing him back on television.
Lawsuits designed to make Josh look like the victim are part of the plan, but thus far, none of them have gone in his favor.
First, Josh sued In Touch Weekly for publishing the documents, and now he's going after the police ho gave the tabloid access to his records.
Dredging up his dark past in an effort to win back fans is a bizarre strategy, but being the sharpest crayon in the box is one thing Josh has never been accused of.