If you're anything like us, you've avoided CrossFit and its enthusiasts with the sort of aggressive disdain that most folks reserve for sanctimonious vegans or people who love to tell you about their dreams.
But for reasons we don't fully understand, the fitness brand is wildly popular these days, and Javi Marroquin is looking to capitalize on the trend.
Javi took to Instagram this week to announce that he's opening his own CrossFit gym in Smyrna, Delaware, which is apparently a place.
Marroquin announced the news with a triumphant video addressed to his followers.
“DREAM COME TRUE!” Javi captioned the announcement below.
“So I’m taking a big leap here and going to open up my own business,” he continued.
“This has always been in the back of my mind for years.
"I was always scared to take the first jump and go after it. After talking with my family and loved ones, @crossfitkillshot will be opening soon in Smyrna, DE!”
Javi elaborated on the news in the video itself, adding:
"I am going to go ahead and open my own CrossFit affiliate called CrossFit Killshot," said an exuberant Javi.
Marroquin goes on to encourage fans to follow the IG page for his new business venture, adding:
"Stay tuned for more updates."
Sounds pretty straightforward, but to be honest we have a lot of questions:
Is Javi prepared for his insurance to skyrocket after a soccer mom from Dover inevitably takes a kettlebell to the skull?
And what in the hell inspired the douchetastic name Killshot?
Is it inspired by Eminem's Machine Gun Kelly diss track of the same name?
If so, we're gonna have to go ahead and encourage all Delaware residents to boycott Javi's gym on general principle.
But the most important question of all, of course, is -- what does Lauren Comeau think of all this?
As you're probably aware, Javi and Lauren are expecting their first child together, and they recently bought a house.
So even though they're not officially man and wife, their finances are pretty well intertwined.
Hopefully, Javi consulted Lauren before jumping into this thing.
Sounds like a no-brainer, but all those years of six-digit reality show earnings may have blinded him to the financial concerns of regular folk.