Back in February, Kylie Jenner welcomed her first child, and despite the fact that she was in a committed relationship at the time, rumors about the child's paternity have persisted ever since.
At first, it was widely reported that Kylie's most recent ex, Tyga, might Stormi Webster's father.
Those rumors were reportedly started by the rapper himself and are said to have been put to rest when Tyga submitted to a paternity test.
So we know that Stormi is definitively not a Tyga cub, but still there are those who doubt that Travis Scott is really the girl's father.
Following the rumor mill M.O., now that the most plausible rumor has been shot down, the door is open to totally bonkers speculation with no factual foundation whatsoever.
That's how we ended up with reports that Kylie got pregnant by her bodyguard, Tim Chung.
And what would lead the internet to such an unlikely conclusion?
We give you exhibit A.
As you can see, Tim is an attractive man.
Twitter's reasoning is basically - Kylie got pregnant at a time when she was frequently in the presence of an attractive man, therefore, said attractive man must have impregnated her.
No one involved in the situation bothered to dignify those reports with a response, and we think it's safe to say Tim is not Kylie's baby daddy.
Not because it's inconceivable that Kylie would deign to sleep with a lowly bodyguard, but because the reports are based on nothing but the denizens of Horny Twitter deciding that they would like to get knocked up by Mr. Chung.
Of course, it's worth noting that Kylie could do a lot worse.
In addition to sporting a set of abs that could be used to grate parmesan, Tim is a full-time officer with the LAPD and a part-time model.
It's not hard to see how Kylie could fall for someone like Tim.
And if she's not interested, Tim can take solace in the fact that a few thousand of her fans are eagerly DTF.
"Kinda wanna move to LA so I can get arrested by Kylie Jenner’s bodyguard," wrote one enthusiast.
"Sorry I was late to work, I was busy reading about Kylie Jenner's bodyguard on Twitter," tweeted another.
Obviously, we consider ogling attractive famous people and their hangers-on a perfectly acceptable excuse for truancy.
But we can see how your employer might not feel the same.
So if you're getting ready for work right now, and you find yourself held up by this article please don't put the blame on us.
We're fragile, and we don't respond well to criticism.