You know how sometimes your non-friend acquaintance doesn't text you back, so you take that as permission to bang their boyfriend? That's life, right?
According to Faith Stowers, anyway. Because she's not only unapologetic about hooking up with Jax, she's also claiming that she and Brittany were never really friends.
Way to commit to your role as Vanderpump Rules villain, Faith.
So, on this season of Vanderpump Rules, Faith Stowers has gone from being essentially a glorified extra to being the center of attention.
She slept with Jax Taylor. To make matters worse, she also claimed that she'd missed her period -- guaranteeing her the on-camera attention that she clearly craves.
But not all attention is good attention, folks. She's emerged as the villain.
Just because Brittany Cartwright and Jax Taylor are still together somehow doesn't mean that Faith didn't play a key role in sabotaging their relationship.
Was Jax the guiltiest party? Yes.
But since the much-beloved Brittany has taken him back, viewers and fans are going to want to look to the other woman to direct their ire.
And Faith is making herself really, really easy to dislike.
Faith Stowers spoke to Us Weekly in what we assume was, at some point, an attempt to make herself look better.
You tell us how well she succeeded.
"I don’t owe Brittany anything, I’m not Brittany’s friend."
There is a line of thinking that suggests that only the cheater is doing anything wrong, not the woman with whom he cheats. In some cases, we're inclined to agree.
But basically everyone, ever, including Faith's costars, were definitely under the impression that Brittany and Faith were friends.
Faith, however, suggests some "evidence" that they weren't friends.
"Brittany doesn’t even text me back. I mean, I’m confused."
Banging somebody's boyfriend sounds like a bit of an overreaction.
In my day, when somebody didn't text back, we just set their car on fire. (Kidding!)
It looks like Faith knows that the whole "banged Jax and faked a pregnancy" storyline can't go on forever without adding a little more fuel to the fire.
Because then she decided to bring up a more salacious topic.
"The only reason why you text me in the beginning was cause you wanted a threesome."
Apparently this whole thing started when Jax was messaging Faith, ostensibly on behalf of himself and Brittany.
Faith told Us her reaction:
"I was like laughing, ‘LOL, you guys are hilarious. Brittany’s pretty cute though.’"
She's not wrong.
Faith says that, at the time, she at least entertained the notion of a threesome with her Vanderpump Rules costars.
"I’m kind of flirting with the idea, but I’m not serious."
But ... you know how, if you mention a walk in front of a dog, they get super excited and can't calm down until you walk them?
That's the impression that we get of Jax and all of this sex talk. Super eager ... but without a dog's loyalty. Or cuteness.
"I think that’s what pushed the envelope for him. OK now I’m bringing up threesomes, here we go."
We all know where that led.
Jax screwed up -- and by up, we mean Faith.
But Faith is no longer happy with him.
"I actually liked Jax, like I actually appreciated his time, and so it was the fact that he lied to my face."
The Jax she banged, it seems, was very different from the Jax who tried to preserve his relationship with Brittany Cartwright.
"This kid was almost in tears laying in my bed, talking about this girl, saying he was done with her and he felt trapped. But lie to my face at a party?"
Faith even describes what sex with Jax was like, because of course she does.
"It was almost like he really, really needed this."
It sounds a little like she's calling Jax pathetic, here. Or insulting Brittany's sex skills.
"It was … you could just tell, ’cause even when during the intercourse, it was very intimate, it was like … he just, I don’t know."
She takes another stab at describing their encounter.
"He was in a whole other world, he was just so excited. I don’t know. I was into it, cause I liked him, I could tell he was more into it than I was. If that makes any sense."
That actually does make sense ... but we don't really need to hear Jax's sexual experiences described to us ever again. Please.