The old Miley can't come to the phone right now. Oh -- because she's ... decided to rebrand herself to become more palatable to wider audiences and sell more music.
But that doesn't mean that she won't get naked from time to time, for old time's sake.
Remember that photo where naked Miley looks like a fairy? We know a little more about it, now.
For a few years there, Miley was something of a nightmare.
Conservatives were scandalized by her raw sexual imagery, her casual nudity, the way that she opened up and came out as pansexual, and her brazen use of marijuana.
Progressives were horrified by Miley's use of cultural appropriation -- from some of her new music to the way that she tried to make twerking part of her brand to the way that she seemed to use black people as props while performing.
(Some of those criticisms are valid; others, like people who have a problem with Miley being pan, are just plain bigotry)
Recently, Miley has been reforming her image.
Many people credit that to Liam Hemsworth's calming influence.
Liam might lack staying power in bed, but you can't help but notice that Miley started acting out when they split and then seemed to recover some chill when she and Liam reunited.
Another factor was that Miley quit using marijuana.
Apparently, she had dreamed that she smoked so much weed that she died. Which is weird.
We'd like to note that we've never known anyone whose behavior magically became worse thanks to being high. It sounds like Miley's trying to use that as an excuse.
Anyway, Miley might be cleaning up her act, but she's still a gorgeous woman with a gorgeous body.
And she's not afraid to show it. Which is how we got this photo:
We already knew that this pic of Miley was by famed photographer David LaChapelle.
In fact, it's the cover of his new book of photography, Lost + Found.
If you look past Miley and her "nude" body (she's not quite nude but we'll get to that in a moment), you'll see that she appears to be ina highly romanticized prison cell.
(I don't know about you guys, but I've never been in a bathroom where everything was stainless steel -- but that's the set up in prisons)
We knew that there was some convenient censorship, here.
As it turns out, LaChapelle had Miley wear a sheer bodysuit with some very carefully placed Swarovski crystals to hide her girly bits while not seeming to hide much of anything.
(Visually, it reminds us of the vajazzling trend that never really took off -- remember that? People decorating their vulvas with little glue-on crystals? Some people still do it, we're sure)
LaChapelle's art book will also feature photos that we've never, ever seen before.
Including pics of celebrities, ranging from Kanye West to Hillary Clinton to David Bowie.
It should be interesting.
As frustrating as Miley can be at times, we have to remember that she's young and that she's still finding herself.
She was never able to find that moderation that a normal marijuana user has where they can smoke weed without constantly talking about it.
But maybe she'll figure out how to exist between various extremes as her career continues.
If she wants to pose nude, for artsy purposes or otherwise, genuinely nude or just creating the illusion of nakedness, good for her.
We'd rather see her find herself than just try to be who others want her to be.