Despite what some people hoped, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are still getting divorced.
Yes, the great Brangelina romance, held up as everyone's romantic ideal and glorified by Blair Waldorf on Gossip Girl, is really over. And it's staying that way.
They're leading separate lives now, and that means separate sex lives. And now we know what Angelina's been getting up to.
As the world remembers, this famous couple split last year after an incident on an airplane for which Angelina reported Brad Pitt for child abuse.
We didn't know that at the time, and pretty much everyone speculated about what had caused their breakup.
A lot of people just assumed that it was Angelina's fault. Some even blamed the divorce on her double-mastectomy, because people are the actual worst sometimes.
(There's a lot in our culture that seems to make people eager to blame women when they don't have any information)
Some of those folks felt vindicated after Brad Pitt was "cleared" after the investigation.
Even though the US justice system isn't equipped to protect children or to prosecute those who harm them. Mostly because the laws are old and the democratic process demands compromise where there shouldn't be any.
We don't know the details of Brad Pitt's altercation with Maddox and we probably never will, but someone accused of abuse being cleared by law enforcement unfortunately doesn't mean much, one way or the other.
Whatever happened, though, either in and of itself or in a straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back sort of way, must have been enough that Angelina Jolie couldn't stay married to him for one more minute.
Because whatever happened clearly broke her heart.
HollywoodLife reports that a source close to Angelina knows what Angelina's mindset is regarding sex.
Apparently, Angelina Jolie is embracing celibacy. That's ... not as easy for Blair Waldorf to talk up, as it's inherently unsexy.
"Angelina’s mind is so not on romance or sex these days, she’s totally celibate and she’s embracing it."
Hey, if that's how she wants to live, more power to her.
A lot of people choose to live lives without sex even though they experience sexual attraction (there are also people on the asexual spectrum who do lead sex lives, if usually with a partner).
In Angelina's case, there's apparently a spiritual side behind how she's currently living.
"She’s been reading a lot about how to transform sexual energy into creative power and she’s pretty fascinated by it. She’s started practicing yoga, which she used to hate but in the past year it’s really helped calm her mind."
That bit about transforming sexual energy into creative power sounds a little goofy and New Agey, but there are a number of religious and spiritual paths that include celibacy.
That can mean everything from Catholic nuns (who honor their God by abstaining from sexual activity) to devoted Daoists who work to preserve their own vital energy by refraining from ejaculating.
If you're thinking that Angelina came up with this idea on her own, though, you would be mistaken.
"One of the gurus that she’s following preaches about the distractions of sex so it’s not like she’s getting these ideas out of nowhere."
There are gurus and then there are gurus, but Angelina is a cultured individual so she probably doesn't mean some hipster guy named Steve.
Like we said, a number of religious and spiritual traditions find a sexless existence to be helpful, permanently or temporarily.
"Plus the fact is she really doesn’t identify with her own sexuality anymore. She’s still as sexy as ever but she doesn’t see herself that way anymore."
That's so sad!
"She’s totally shut that side of her down and she says she’s found a lot of peace in that. Her children and her humanitarian work is what she really cares about right now."
Angelina has always, always put her children first.
Brad Pitt, in the mean time, has been getting back into acting.
It's not that he ever stopped being an actor, but it's different when you're newly single.
Angelina and Brad will always be linked by their six children (six!), but even if various shippers' wishes are granted and these two reunite, it's hard to imagine things ever being the same between them.
But, hey, yoga is super good for you, so Angelina has that, now.