It's not unusual for wealthy, middle-aged men to trade in their sports cars for newer models every year, but Leonardo DiCaprio takes Crisis Hedonism to the next level by trading in his models for newer models every year.
In fairness, he's been doing this for his entire adult life, the whole thing is just a bit sleazier-feeling now that Leo is 42.
But hey, Keith Richards' blood is 43% heroin; Charlie Sheen will give you crabs if you accidentally make eye contact; and Leo is on a quest to bed every woman who has ever walked a runway.
Sometimes, their misbehavior is what we love most about our celebs.
So it won't surprise you to learn that Leo is banging yet another rail-thin, globe trotting model with close to 1 million Instagram followers.
(DiCaprio and Nina Agdal have apparently broken up after several months together.)
But this time, Leo is actually breaking away from his usual M.O. in an interesting way.
Check out this photo of 23-year-old Lorena Rae and see if you can guess what we mean:
Yes, Lorena is not blonde.
That may not seem like a big deal, DiCaprio and blondes go together like peanut butter and jelly ... if peanut butter really loved having no-strings-attached sex with jelly.
But just because she doesn't match Leo's police sketch of the perfect woman, that doesn't mean Lorena isn't getting the full DiCaprio girlfriend experience.
In the past three months, Lorena and Leo have been spotted getting their culture on at the MoMa, Citi Biking in Manhattan (Leo was vaping, of course), partying in Monaco, and yachting in St. Tropez.
Friends say Lorena is incredibly down-to-earth, and while she loves to have a good time, she also shares DiCaprio's concern with important issues like climate change.
But she's not blonde! Leo probably thinks to himself each night, as he crushes a tumbler of Scotch in his bare hand.
Of course, much has been made of Leo's taste for flaxen-haired beauties, but we're guessing blonde-ness isn't terribly high on his list of requirements.
As far as we can tell, that list goes something like this:
Hot, young, a vocabulary that's missing the words "what are we?", and a job that allows for weeks at a time spent on a yacht in the Mediterranean.
We'd say the relationship probably isn't long for this world, but who knows?
Maybe DiCaprio's days of banging 6 models in one night are over.
Seems unlikely, but dare to dream, Lorena!