Those who recall Jeremy Calvert's first appearance on Teen Mom 2 know it was only a few years ago, but it feels like a lifetime by now.
He was a hard-working man, ready and willing to be with Leah Messer even though she had two young daughters from her first marriage.
Jeremy seemed like a wonderful person back then, but as we've learned, not everything is as it seems from such first, outward appearances.
With her best friend, no less.
Because of all these rumors, and since he fancies himself as an "open book" type, he decided to hop on Instagram Live to sort everything out.
And it was a mess.
A public service announcement for y'all at home: Never make videos of yourself while drunk, kids. It never turns out how you think it will.
To start, he talks about Leah, saying that he and the Teen Mom 2 mainstay "co-parent great" and "our daughter comes first."
"And she knows that I know that no matter what Addie comes first," he says, but "For Christ's sake, quit talking about me and her getting back together."
"It's f-cking ridiculous."
This next bit is interesting, because he's slurring a little bit, but it really sounds like he says "We are f--king and we co-parent fantastic."
We are f--king? Does that mean what we think it means or is he just hammered? See what we mean about never filming while drunk?
From there, Jeremy goes on with his beloved MTV bashing, saying that at the end of the day, the network wants conflict:
"All they want is the negative editing, arguments, fights, disagreements so they can f-cking make a show."
"If you people are that goddamn stupid to not see that, what the f--k is your problem? It's not f--king hard to put two and two together, people."
About Brooke Wehr's claims that he slept with her best friend, he shockingly and candidly says that he "sure did." Whoa.
Only because his (now ex) fiancee was with another guy two months before that, though, "f--king his brains out, every day."
It's all fine though, the pipeline engineer says, because he was single, and when you're single, you can lay pipe wherever you want.
So to speak.
Or, as he puts it, in ever-so-eloquent terms that would make Addie proud, "my dick was happy to do whatever the f-ck it wanted to do."
"If I want to go this bar," he adds, as if we didn't get the gist, "and pull out some f--king 350 pound bitch, more power to me."
Jeremy, quickly cementing his reputation as the living, breathing epitome of class, also insists that "pussy has no face." Wow.
The father of one also takes some time to talk about the daughter he shares with Leah, explaining that "She has a perfect life."
"And anybody that don't think that," Calvert says, can f--king "go jump off a motherf--king bridge and die for all I care."
While he does work a lot, and usually out of town, he says "I try my best to be available for my daughter. If she needs something, I'm there."
"If Leah needs something, I make it happen."
So that's nice, we guess. Right?
In closing, he felt it was of the utmost importance to let us all know - in case it wasn't crystal clear - that "Jeremy gives zero f-cks."
Yeah, guy, we can tell.
Watch Jeremy's full, absolutely insane rant in the video above and tell us if it's changed your opinion of him for worse, and for good.