If you watch Vanderpump Rules online, you know that much of the season’s has centered around the ongoing mystery of Lala Kent’s love life.
Is Lala dating Jacksonville Jaguars linebacker Hayes Pullard?
Is she banging a married guy for free Range Rovers and private jet rides?
Or is Lala’s mystery man even more high-profile and well-off than anyone initially suspected?
The plot thickened on last night’s episode of Vanderpump, when James Kennedy revealed that guests who stayed at the house Lala’s dude rented for Coachella were obligated to sign a non-disclosure agreement
Yes, the dude rented a big enough party crib for Coachella that his girlfriend’s friends were able to bring their significant others, and he went so far as to draw up legal documents to protect his identity.
We think it’s safe to say this is not some relative-unknown NFL player.
Naturally, everyone denied signing the NDA, but that’s usually how these things work.
We doubt the sugar daddy paid to have the docs drafter and sent to Lala’s friends, but when they stood on principle for the first time their lives and refused to sign, he was just all:
"Well, if I can’t trust a bunch of thirsty D-listers from a reality show where the entire cast is known for their willingness to screw over absolutely anyone, who can I trust? C’mon in, you crazy kids!"
After the show, two of the newly-sketchy-seeming Coachella guests appeared on Andy Cohen’s Watch What Happens Live! where they attempted to nonchalantly brush the situation off:
As you can see, the future’s not looking bright for Tom and Ariana’s acting careers.
What may be most interesting about this situation is that along with the ever-weaselly James Kennedy, Tom and Ariana have been pretending to be completely in the dark about the identity of Lala’s dude this entire season.
Now it’s clear that even if they’re telling the truth about never having met the guy, they at least know more than they’re letting on about who he is.
Sadly, we may never get to the bottom of this mystery, as Lala has quit the show, and we’ll reportedly see her dramatoc departure in the next few episodes.
But while we may never learn the identity of LA’s most famous mystery sugar daddy, we can be sure of at least one thing:
Lala probably didn’t win her Range Rover in a contest, as Tom Sandoval hilariously posited.