No one would ever accuse Kate Gosselin of being a level-headed, reasonable person.
Because hey, why would they? She's Kate Gosselin.
Her nastiness is a sad but constantly confirmed fact of life.
She's rude and controlling and cold to ... well, we're assuming to every poor, unfortunate soul who ever crossed her path. But none of those souls suffer more than those belonging to her eight children.
(All real stories, by the way -- seriously, this woman is horrific.)
So since we hear so many bad things about Kate all the time, new stories of the nightmare that is her parenting method really shouldn't be all that surprising.
They shouldn't be. But they really, really are.
According to a new report from In Touch, Kate's children "are prisoners in their own home."
It's easy to imagine, sure, but the details are where the true horror lies.
As a source tells it, "Kate says no clothing or belongings can be brought from her house to Jon's house, so the kids arrive for visitation in their school uniforms and change into clothes Jon has for them when they get to his house."
"Then they put their uniforms back on before heading to their moms house."
Sure, sounds totally normal and not at all alarming.
Plenty of parents probably do that, right? We're nearly certain that so many mothers insist that ... no, you know what?
This is so insane that we can't even joke about it.
It's senseless and petty and such a very, very Kate Gosselin thing to do.
The source also says that, since the kids aren't allowed to have cell phones, "After they visit with their dad, she lines the kids up and pats them down for cell phones."
It shouldn't be too hard, because of course Kate only lets a select few kids visit Jon at a time. Eight pat-downs could really wear a person out, but two or three? No problem.
Oh, and let's just take a moment to add that of course Kate doesn't let her kids have cell phones. Can you imagine how much time she'd have to spend checking all those texts?
And no real way to monitor the different phone calls ... no, one house phone is definitely the way to go when you feel the need to control every move your entire family makes.
Indeed, the source concludes this little tale by stating that "She has these insane practices and rules to ensure she has total control of everything her kids do."
Yep, that sounds like Kate.
For approximately the billionth time ... those poor kids.