This is a tough one, guys.
This story comes to us just as the world is learning that President Donald Trump (We'll get used to writing "2017" on our checks long before we get used to writing that.) is planning to investigate non-existent voter fraud, move forward with the controversial Dakota Access Pipeline, and build that absurdly expensive monument to American racism he calls "the Wall."
At the same time, bashing an immigrant who speaks five languages because she's not proficient in the one you speak is unthinkably ignorant, and Chelsea Handler is, and ever shall be, one of the biggest ass-hats drawing breath.
But we're getting ahead of ourselves.
Allow us to back up and give you the full low-down on reason #345,789 that Chelsea Handler is a prejudiced, privileged, unfunny urinary tract infection of a human being.
This one, sadly, has us defending a member of Donald Trump's immediate family, and for that, we will never forgive her.
When asked in a recent interview with Variety if she would consider having Melania Trump on her Netflix show that no one watches, Handler replied, "She barely speaks English."
Yup. She went there.
And it's far from the first time that Handler has based her comments section troll-level comedy on the fact that Melania is an immigrant.
"Trump said Melania will give two or three more speeches. Hopefully an interpreter will be present," Handler tweeted in October.
"Hopefully someone is explaining all this to Melania right now," she wrote during one of the Clinton-Trump debates.
Hopefully, Handler felt like the supreme jackass that she is after someone informed her that Melania speaks at least five languages, including French, Italian, German, Slovene, and yes, fluent English.
You might be thinking, so THG, does this mean you're in favor of that SNL writer getting suspended for tweeting about Barron Trump becoming a "home school shooter"?
And the answer is, no, we are not, and that move is further proof that Lorne Michaels will never have the sack to be the political firebrand he sees himself as.
While it's true that politicians' underage kids should be off limits, that often hasn't been the case at SNL (see: 350-pound Chris Farley portraying Rudy Giuliani's young son), and anyone who thinks Katie Rich's joke was at the expense of Barron simply didn't get the damn joke.
Folks, let's not allow the Tiny-Fisted Fuhrer to create an environment in which you can't appreciate the nuances of a given issue and decide your stance for yourself.
He will attack your freedom of speech in the years to come, but once you lose the ability to think for yourself, then you've lost for good.