Vanderpump Rules Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Just Gotta Keep Callin' It Like You See It

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Katie Maloney's bridal party was unveiled on Vanderpump Rules Season 5 Episode 3, but one of the key members of the cast got snubbed.

You'd have to turn to Game of Thrones for a show with more entangling alliances, so it can be tough to keep track of which SURvers are cool with one another and which are on the outs.

Katie Maloney, in particular, has been all over the map in terms of her relationships with her colleagues.

If you watch Vanderpump Rules online, then you're well acquainted with Katie's various feuds with certain key SUR girls over the years.

With Maloney about to tie the knot, tension was high.

Who would get an elaborate invitation to sport a fugly matching dress, and who would be exiled to the Island of Misfit SURvers (also known as LaLa Land)?

Well, it seems that Katie's relationship with Stassi is officially repaired, but she's no longer cool with Ariana.

Ariana Madix Feels the Nausea

Yes, even though Ms. Madix's boyfriend, Tom Sandoval, is best friends with the groom-to-be, Tom Schwartz, it seems Katie wants Ariana to have nothing to do with her wedding.

Unfortunately for Tequila Katie, the preview for next week's episode shows Schwartz asking Ariana to be one of his groomsmen, which will probably lead to a prompt severing of his junk.

Speaking of Tom Schwartz's nether regions, the dude exacted a foul (though admittedly hilarious) revenge on his friends Sandoval and Jax Taylor by serving them steak and shrimp that had been in contact with his butt.

Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz Selfie

Yes, this was his way of asking them to be his groomsmen, because this is a strange show with strange, strange castmembers.

The adulting continued when Schwartz and Katie threw themselves a housewarming party with some budget-ass-looking charcuterie.

Naturally, Lala and the show's resident Bond villain, James Kennedy, weren't invited, and it was hilarious to see even Lala get annoyed by James' douchey boasting.

James may have been absolved of any wrongdoing in the now-notorious headlock incident, but he's still on the outs with the rest of the group, and poor LaLa has been condemned to have to put up with his whiny BS for all of eternity.

We know she's not blameless, but no one deserves that.

Katie explains that her hatred for Lala has reached the point where she's pissed at Scheana simply for looking in her direction and laughing, which is the kind of rambling we used to hear from Katie only after she'd downed a half dozen shots of Cuervo.

Lala attempts to make things right with Katie, but the conversation breaks down into an argument about sugar daddies and the proper definition of the word "whore."

Only at SUR, kids. Only at SUR.

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