Brace yourselves, people.
The story you're about to read might be the most Taylor Swift-y piece of news since the singer forced her friends to pose for those hilariously awkward couples photos with Tom Hiddleston on the Fourth of July.
In fact, if in the next 24 hours, Taylor gets involved in a celebrity feud or flashes one of her signature shock-and-aw-shucks expressions after winning some award she knew damn well she was gonna win, then we've officially reached #PeakTaylor.
You know the look we're talking about.
Here's Kristen Wiig offering up an artist's rendering:
Anyway, this story involves cats, social media and dreamy male celebs.
It's basically a page torn directly from Taylor's Lisa Frank notebook.
The names have not been changed to protect the innocent.
First, the truly gossip-worthy part:
According to In Touch, just weeks after her breakup with Hiddleston, Taylor has set her sights on another B-list heartthrob.
Yes, the tabloid claims Taylor has been making it clear to her inner circle that she plans to pursue a relationship with High School Musical star and noted Simone Biles crush, Zac Efron.
“[Swift] has been talking about him nonstop since her breakup with Tom,” a source tells the magazine.
“She’s always said she feels a strong connection to Zac, but could never act on it because they’ve always been dating other people.”
The insider adds that this infatuation didn't come out left field, as Taylor has long carried a torch for Zac:
“Taylor and Zac have always been pretty flirty with each other,” the source claims.
“She’s reached out to Zac and told him that they should hang out and maybe go to dinner together, and he’s into it. It just hasn’t happened yet because of their schedules.”
Indeed, this isn't the first time we've heard rumors about Swift and Efron getting romantically involved.
The two reportedly went on a few dates back in 2012, and it's not surprising that he's still on Taylor's mind.
After all, he's pretty much the ideal Swift-bro:
Successful, rich and pretty - but not as successful, rich and pretty as Taylor.
Anyway, moving on to a new relationship is part of Swift's post-breakup damage control, but there's another, equally important aspect that involves reminding the world that she loves knitting, Grey's Anatomy, cats, and of course, her gal pals.
Taylor posted the below video last night as part of an Instagram story in which she joked that she'd been "betrayed" in her own home:
"Tonight has been an emotional rollercoaster." - Taylor on her Instagram story 🐱 pic.twitter.com/jJXNTWq0tl— Taylor Swift News (@TSwiftNZ) September 15, 2016
It features her new bestie Martha Hunt (Taylor's been forced to do some recruiting in the wake of her recent "squad problems") bonding with her beloved feline, Meredith Grey.
The clip reminds us several important things:
1. Cats are treacherous beings that would be more at home in Westeros than in your house.
2. Taylor and her supermodel friends are totes adorbz and relatable, you guys.
Does the fact that her cat likes cats and posts self-deprecating IG stories make you less likely to roll your eyes when she falls in love again next week?
It better - or she will destroy with song lyrics that will make your ancestors feel the burn.