Dancing with the Stars Premiere Recap: And We're Back!!

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It’s time for a whole new set of celebrities (term used loosely) to hit the floor as Dancing With the Stars' 23rd season is officially underway! 

Amber Rose and Maksim Chmerkovskiy

Did we mention Maksim Chmerkovskiy is back, first of all?! Forget any of the alleged celebrities, that's cause for celebration in itself.

Some of the notables this fall include Marilu Henner, Maureen McCormick, Babyface, Vanilla Ice, Amber Rose and that douche Ryan Lochte.

Let's break down the opening week's performances, JEAH!?

Any week in which Ryan Lochte is attacked by protesters is automatically a noteworthy one, but there were many other highlights too.

Who led the pack on Dancing With the Stars Season 23 Episode 1, and who might be looking at a very early exit from the ballroom?

Marilu Henner and Derek Hough

Marilu Henner and Derek Hough: Jive, “Can’t Stop Dancing” by Becky G

Derek is back on the floor and Julianne is back as the #4 judge on the panel, making sure that this DWTS season will achieve #PeakHough.

As far as peak scores?

Dancing first and doing the jive, no less, is not an easy feat, so perhaps these first-week jitters can be improved upon for Marilu, however ...

Score: 27/40

James Hinchcliffe and Sharna Burgess: Foxtrot, “Live Life” by Zayde Wølf

The IndyCar racer is not only very competitive, but a character as well - meaning we could have a real threat to win this season here.

Elegance and confidence, not to mention a strong connection with his partner, could make James the dark horse to make a deep run.

Score: 31/40 

Ryan Lochte and Cheryl Burke: Foxtrot, “Call Me Irresponsible” by Michael Buble

In case you haven't heard, Lochte was assailed by protesters unhappy with him (and DWTS for casting him) after his effort last night.

The judges note that the incident was truly a shame because he has athletic potential and a top tier partner, which is undeniably correct.

Still, they didn't take it easy on him with their scores, so he's got a lot of ground to make up - and hopefully no more protestors to dodge.

Score: 24/40 

Calvin Johnson Jr. and Lindsay Arnold: Cha Cha, “That’s What I Like” by Flo Rida

The recently retired Detroit Lions star, a.k.a. Megatron, may be the athlete with better ability than Ryan, if not the same level of publicity.

Score: 26/40

Maureen McCormick and Artem Chigvintsev: Viennese Waltz, “You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman” by Mary J. Blige

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia was overcome with emotion as she took on her insecurities in the studio, you could sense the nerves a little bit.

Score: 22/40

Kenny “Babyface” Edmonds and Allison Holker: Foxtrot, “Deed I Do” by Ray Charles

Babyface dedicated his stint on DWTS to his recently deceased mother, which was perhaps the most Babyface thing of all time.

Score: 26/40

Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds and Allison Holker

Amber Rose and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Foxtrot, “Here” by Alessia Cara

Nothing about this debut looked comfortable for Amber, despite her reputation as a woman who commands attention and exudes confidence.

“Welcome to our world, Amber,” Erin Andrews said, and perhaps she will grow into it - with Maks, she's got the best teacher there is.

Score: 24/40 

Rick Perry and Emma Slater: Cha Cha, “God Blessed Texas” by Little Texas 

The former Texas Governor has no dance background, but a desire to spread veterans awareness and prepare for his daughter's wedding.

Emma has her work cut out for her, but that's part of the appeal for the Republican, who certainly can't be docked points for his attitude.

Score: 20/40 

Rick Perry and Emma Slater

Jana Kramer and Gleb Savchenko: Viennese Waltz, “Dangerous Woman” by Ariana Grande

The actress and country singer is smoking hot and so is her parter. These two need to rip each other's clothes off after the show. Period.

As for their dance, the Viennese waltz was a bit steamy for Len's liking, but some of the younger judges (and viewers) should appreciate it.

Score: 27/40 

Jake T. Austin and Jenna Johnson: Jive, “Kiss You” by One Direction

The former Wizards of Waverly Place star wants people to see that he's mature than when we last saw him, if we actually did see him.

Maturity or not, their jive wasn’t great, but it's week one.

Score: 22/40 

Jake T. Austin and Jenna Johnson

Vanilla Ice and Witney Carson: Cha Cha, “Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice 

Yes, the rapper (real name Robert Van Winkle) performed his massive hit right off the bat, which was a smart move, yet a risky one.

Getting it out of the way will allow him to shine in 2016, rather than 1991, though if he did poorly it would make things even more humiliating.

The verdict? Mixed, but generally positive. Not a lot of cha cha to be found, but Ice could always dance - and he proved that right here.

Score: 25/40 

Terra Jolé and Sasha Farber: Jive, “Stuff Like That There” by Betty Hutton

The first little person to be on DWTS, Terra is excited to represent, but she doesn't want to be the first little person, just a good dancer.

That's a tall order whether you're little or, well, tall, but her energy and sharpness drew praise from the judges from the very beginning!

Score: 25/40 

Laurie Hernandez and Valentin Chmerkovskiy: Cha Cha, “American Girl” by Bonnie McKee

The consensus frontrunners since their pairing was announced, Laurie and Val actually lived up to expectations with this cute number.

Technically proficient as well as just plain fun, these two look like they have a natural connection on the floor that makes people happy.

That could be tough to beat.

Score: 31/40

Well, who was your favorite from the premiere? Who do you think will win this season and who do you think will be the first ones out?

Discuss in the comments below!

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Dancing with the Stars Quotes

We should have started dancing with one arm waaay before.

Cristian de la Fuente [following his injury, trip to the hospital and subsequent stellar performance]

I am not the best dancer, and I have not been the best dancer from the beginning. I am happy we made it this far.

Cristian de la Fuente