If the tabloid headlines are to be believed (a big "if," if ever there was one) Malia Obama is having a summer that might best be described as "lit" by her peers and "a hellish, never-ending PR nightmare" by her parents.
First, Malia was spotted "twerking" (modestly dancing for several seconds at a music festival), and the Breitbarts of the online world absolutely lost it.
Shortly thereafter, much to the
squealing delight chagrin of far-right pundits, video that purported to show Malia smoking pot surfaced online.
Put on your pearls and prepare to clutch them, as the sight of an 18-year-old maybe, possibly smoking pot at a concert is sure to shock you to your very core.
You've been warned:
It's like if someone combined the Zapruder film with footage of Ryan Lochte peeing on a gas station.
Anyway, there's a new Malia non-scandal, and this one involves her father's surprisingly controversial vacation in Martha's Vineyard.
The Obamas are currently enjoying some sure much-needed downtime on the Massachusetts island that's been a favorite destination of presidential families since the JFK administration.
President Obama has been urged to cut his vacation short due to historic flooding in Louisiana.
His aides say he's being kept abreast of the situation with several updates a day, but journalists and public officials in Louisiana say that's not enough.
Meanwhile, a second controversy has erupted on the tony island, this one involving news that Malia Obama fled a raucous house party just moments before the place was raided by police.
According to Radar Online police arrived at the party in response to a noise complaint, and Malia was ushered out the backdoor by Secret Service agents in order to avoid a confrontation.
One insider claims the President issued a stern lecture to his daughter the morning after:
“This is the president’s worst nightmare!” the source tells Radar.
“The end of his term is in sight — and the carefully crafted image of a world-beating family is unraveling right before his eyes!
The insider adds:
“I’m sure he had some choice words for his daughter during that walk they took."
Look, we get that people can care about multiple issues at the same time, and sometimes you just want to take a break from "real" news and unwind with a little tawdry gossip.
In fact, if anyone understands that, it's us.
But perhaps in the midst of one of the wildest presidential elections the nation has ever seen, devastating flooding and fires in wide swaths of the country, and daily reminders of the staggering human toll of the conflicts in the Middle East, we should all just worry a bit less about what a recent high school grad is doing with her gap year.
Just a thought.