Doug Hutchison: I'm the Only One Banging Courtney Stodden, So I MUST Be the Dad!

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As you may have heard, Courtney Stodden is pregnant.

The 21-year-old kinda-reality star/perenially aspiring singer confirmed yesterday that she's expecting her first child, and many reacted in disbelief.

Courtney Stodden with Doug Hutchison

For one thing, Courtney has shot down countless pregnancy rumors in the past.

Additionally, Courtney's own mother has publicly doubted that she's knocked up.

And on top of all of that, the whole world had kinda just assumed that Courtney's not engaging in a whole lot of sexy-time with Doug Hutchison, the 55-year-old washed-up actor whom she married as a 17-year-old child bride.

The age difference, the tumultuous nature of their relationship, and the fact that Courtney has admitted to sleeping with other guys led many to conclude that there's a good chance Doug's not the father.

But don't expect to see the Hutchisons on Maury anytime soon.

Asked about the possibility that he'll soon be raising someone else's child, Doug told TMZ he's 100% sure that he's the man responsible for the bun in Courtney's oven.

In a statement issued to the website today, Doug made the following proclamation:

"Trust me: my spermatoza are the only swimmers surfing up that stream. Aloha!"

Wow. That's almost too classy.

Doug certainly knows the way to a woman's heart.

No wonder he was able to seduce his high school-age acting student when he was in his early 50s...

Almost typed that entire sentence without throwing up in our mouths a little.

Maybe next time!

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