The latest, iconic season of Teen Mom OG is now a part of history, but Dr. Drew is back to pick up the pieces in the post-mortem reunion.
Last week, Farrah Abraham broke down as she recalled the events of the past year. On the docket for Monday's Part II? Where to begin ...
As expected Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley - and Amber's fiance Matt Baier - battled it out in front of the cameras Monday night.
The lovebirds and enemies have been embroiled in an epic beef, with Gary calling Matt's life "trash" and saying he's a deadbeat dad.
Rumors have been circulating for months to that effect.
Amber categorically explained that her man does not have seven children, or eight, as some sources claim ... Matt Baier has five kids.
Whom he has never abandoned, thankyouverymuch.
Gary, of course, blindsided Amber with a report that Baier has seven kids on the show - a tactic Matt called him out for on the reunion.
"I was completely shocked because I'm thinking in my head, 'Oh, my God - this man has seven kids. He lied to me,'" Amber explained.
Matt's explanation: "Those are really painful memories for me, so I kinda pushed them aside. It gets made to be more seedy than it really was."
"Oh, 'He had children when he was younger, and then he abandoned them in despair.' That's not what happened. They have families."
"They were raised in wonderful families. I would have done nobody any good being around them back then. Five. There's five total."
Despite Matt calling his baby mamas publicity hungry and denouncing many of the rumors as a "fallacy," Gary Shirley wasn't buying it.
"We're dealing with your whole life of trash too, though," he said. "How can a man adore my kid but not his own, his own flesh and blood?"
A fair question, even if his tactics and tone need work.
Dr. Drew ended up having to sit between Matt and Gary, registering around an 8.5 on the unintentional comedic awkwardness scale.
Meanwhile, the video of Catelynn Lowell calling Farrah Abraham a hoebag was addressed, as was Tyler Baltierra's suicide attempt.
Regarding the latter, Tyler revealed that he attempted to take his own life in middle school ... only his attempt to hang himself failed.
"I thought once I jumped, my neck's just gonna snap, and that's gonna be straight ... I'm gonna be done," the reality star explained.
"When I jumped, and I'm struggling, and I can't touch the ground, you know what I mean? I was like, 'Oh, my God ... this isn't what I want."
Tyler, who also admitted to being a "cutter," said he tried to hide his injuries, but that his found him with "a rope burn from ear to ear."
Meanwhile, Catelynn spoke of her own struggle with depression, saying she also contemplated suicide until Tyler pulled her out of it.
"He was the one who made me go see a psychologist," she said, driving home just how much they've been through, and care for each other.
As for Tyler's dad Butch? "Last time I see my ma, she's flying through a kitchen window," he told Dr. Drew via video chat last night.
Wait ... what in the ... ? "[My father] thought that my ma was sleeping with the neighbor, Earl. He had a steel hand. He was hardcore."
These days, "my life is just so great right now, my soul can barely handle it," he said. "I feel that I'm very adolescent ... I try to stay in shape."
"I get a lot of response from the Instagram and the Twitter." Dr. Drew said it best: "Slow clap for Butch for just about everything he's said."
As for Farrah and Catelynn and their epic shade? There were insults and accusations thrown, and clearly there's some bad blood here.
It all culminated in Farrah uttering the all-time iconic sentence: "I don't even go out of my way to engage in this conversation. Goodbye."
Apparently that did the trick. Cate apologized for saying "hurtful things" and said she "had a buzz," and Farrah accepted this. #Blessed.