Keeping Up with the Kardashians Recap: That Was Then, This is Now

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The Kardashians are back and better than ever. At least from a viewer standpoint. The family members themselves are dealing with all kinds of turmoil.

In the Kards

But Kris Jenner is getting some.  Good on ya, Kris.

Keeping Up with the Kardashians Season 11 Episode 1, fittingly titled "That Was Then, This is Now," introduced us to the new normal for the E!'s golden geese cash cows meal ticket best investment ever.

Kim's pregnant, and the clothes are ridiculous.  But she makes it work (I'm sorry, Tim Gunn).

Sometimes I wish I could eat as provocatively as the Kardashian sisters do.  Then I realize they are probably counting seconds in between bites, which is a weight loss endeavor Kris needs to capitalize on.

Kourtney's bummed because Scott's gone off the reservation again, and she's doing her best to hold it together for her kids.  :(

Kylie and Kendall are dealing with Caitlyn Jenner's transition, and end up fighting over dumb sister things while getting ready for the ESPYs, where Caitlyn received the Arthur Ashe Courage Award. 

If I had a dime for the number of times I got scrappy with my two sisters, I would be typing this recap from my castle in the clouds.

Khloe doesn't think she is "sexy" even though she's literally worked her right and tight arse off.  Kim recognizes this transition and forces encourages Khloe to seize the moment, because she won't look so right and tight forever.

Kim gets Khloe on the cover of Complex, and the photoshoot was saucy.  Khloe was sex on a stick, giving the camera "come hither" eyes while she handled greasy gym equipment.

My favorite part of the show was the trip to Malibu Wines Safari.  

If any of our 21-and-up readers are in the SoCal area, I implore you to try this vineyard, because their wines are top-of-the-pops delicious.  

Plus, you can feed the giraffes!

Corey Gamble can kill insects, which makes him a keeper in my book.  So again, good on ya, Kris!

Caitlyn got mad that Kendall and Kylie went to dinner with their mom after the ESPYs, and she needs to get over that because it's selfish.  Don't make your kids feel guilty for splitting time between you and their mother.  Rude.

What did you think of the Season 11 premiere? Follow the link to watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians online at TV Fanatic, then tell us why it's unwise to feed giraffes after a few glasses of wine.

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