By now, you’ve almost certainly seen the ridiculous commercials in which Kate Upton looks terrified atop a horse while attempting to sell you on the idea of downloading the "free-mium" Game of War app.
Aside from Kate’s ample medieval cleavage, the ads are an absolute mess, but they work.
Game of War rakes in an estimates $1 million a day, though many believe its popularity is the result of the creators’ obvious efforts to piggyback on the success of a certain beloved HBO series. True Detective, maybe? We’re not sure.
Anyway, when you’re number one, folks try to steal your crown, and apparently, that goes for both Kate and Game of War.
With in-app sales beginning to slump as more and more users catch on to the fact that the "game" is really just one long, playable commercial, GoW’s marketing team has decided to go sell their product with a different set of armor-plated boobs.
So who will it be?
Charlotte McKinney has been called the next Kate Upton by boob industry experts. Karlie Kloss is Taylor Swift’s best friend, which has gotta be worth something when you’re trying to sell crap to bored teenagers.
But no, despite the many up-and-coming models who would probably take the gig for next to nothing, the folks at GoW decided to go with someone older, more expensive…and much more musical.
Yes, TMZ is reporting that Mariah Carey will receive a seven-figure payday to star in one 30-second ad for the game.
Like Kate, she’ll bounce around on a horse in the sexiest garb the Middle Ages have to offer. It seems the real selling point, however, was the fact that Mariah agreed to allow her music to be used in the commercial.
Because nothing says "victory in battle" like the dulcet tones of "You’ll Always Be My Baby."
So next time your phone bill is through the roof because you just had to have that third dragon, you might have Mimi to blame. Just remember: When you play the Game of War, you win…or you buy more worthless crap.
