Donald Trump has finally found the person he believes is best-equipped to clean up the Hellhole that is America:
After years of teasing a possible run for President of the United States, the real estate mogul held a press conference today in New York City and declared himself an actual candidate for 2016.
"Our country is in serious trouble," Trump said in his speech. "We don't have victories anymore. We used to have victories, but we don't have them.
"When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say China in a trade deal? I beat China all the time. All the time."
A long-time critic of Barack Obama, aggressively challenged his opponents in the 2016 race.
On the Republican side, these will include Jeb Bush, Mike Huckabee, Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio and many others.
"They will never make America great again. They don't even have a chance," Trump said of his foes, adding:
"They're controlled fully by the lobbyists, by the donors, and by the special interests...
"Our country needs a truly great leader and we need a truly great leader now. We need a leader that wrote 'The Art of the Deal.' We need a leader that can bring back our jobs."
And who hosts Celebrity Apprentice!
“I will be the greatest jobs president that god ever created,” Donald said right after declaring.
“I’ll bring back our jobs and I’ll bring back our money… How stupid are our leaders? How stupid are our politicians?"
Now that Trump officially is one? We can think of an easy answer to that question.