We've come to expect all manner of self-consciously "eccentric" behavior from James Franco.
Whether he's making out with Zachary Quinto or claiming to be Selena Gomez's baby daddy, Franco is as devoted to living his life as some kind of weird Andy Kaufman-esque performance art piece as he is to his acting.
So it's hard to tell if we're being trolled by the love letter to McDonald's that Franco recently had published in the Washington Post, or if the man really has a warm place in his heart for the artery-clogging fast food giant.
In an op-ed piece entitled "McDonald's Was There For Me When No One Else Was" (seriously) Franco waxes nostalgic about his time spent noshing on congealing cheeseburgers and putting on fake accents for customers while working as a drive-thru jockey in his teens.
"Just like their food, the job was more available there than anywhere else," Franco writes, probably on a whimsically outdated typewriter. "When I was hungry for work, they fed the need. I still love the simplicity of the McDonald’s hamburger and its salty fries.
"Maybe once a year, while on a road trip or out in the middle of nowhere for a movie, I’ll stop by a McDonald’s and get a simple cheeseburger: light, and airy, and satisfying."
That's right: McDonald's food is more available at McDonald's than anywhere else, and their "light and airy" burgers feed the soul, as well as the belly, and what in the actual f-ck is this man talking about?!
Franco's essay was written in response to declining sales and a planned re-branding for the world's largest "restaurant" chain.
He says he hopes Mickey D's is able to turn things around (even if it means abandoning plans for an across-the-board wage increase) so that other young folks have the opportunity to work there for three months before hitting it big as an actor.
At this point, we'd like to point out that Franco's parents are loaded (his dad is a retired Silicon Valley tycoon) and they forced him to support himself (as an adult, mind you) only after he decided to drop out of college because the UCLA drama program didn't have any openings.
So yeah, it's BS when James says no one else was there for him, and Franco writing about how awesome it is to work at McDonald's makes about as much sense as the wealthy, handsome millionaire writing and directing a movie about the life of the impoverished, alcoholic, cystic-acne-riddled writer Charles Bukowski.
Oh wait, Franco is actually doing that.
We get it, James. You're deep in ways that none of us can imagine. Now get back to doing what you do best and post some more nude selfies on Instagram.