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Alanis Morissette claims her fired housekeeper stole her dog and is refusing to give the pet back, effectively holding the pooch for a king’s ransom.

The housekeeper, via the video below, tells a different story.

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Alanis says the housekeeper took her dog without permission after she was fired; she counters that Alanis abandoned the dog after it shat all over the house.

Morissette and hubby Mario Treadway have since filed a lawsuit trying to get the dog back, and in it, claims her legal efforts are being used against her.

The singer is afraid that the more she protests, the more likely they are to drive up the price of a settlement to return the dog. Yes … this is a real story.

Treadway says Circus “is not merely a piece of property. He is living and breathing” and each day without him, “[my] heart suffers more and more.”

He says their former house manager is ultimately motivated by money and not love, and are just holding the pup in order to score a big payday.

 

Additionally, Treadway also worries that Circus will be stolen, pointing to a video posted by the housekeeper (above) which he says made the dog a target.

You cannot make this stuff up, THGers. Say a prayer for Circ tonight.

In unrelated news … BABIES! PUPPIES!!! EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!