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Mildred Patricia Baena, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s maid-turned-mistress and secret baby mama, doesn’t get a lot of ink in his self-proclaimed tell-all book.

In fact, he pretty much glosses over the whole affair.

It would be pretty hilarious, if it weren’t so depressing that he did this to wife Maria Shriver and is now trying to profit from it with the release of Total Recall.

Linda Hamilton and Arnold Schwarzenegger
Photo via Getty Images for CinemaCon
 

The passage on Mildred Baena reads: “Mildred had been working in our household for 5 years and all of the sudden we were alone in the guest house.”

“When Mildred gave birth the following August, she named the baby Joseph.”

THAT’S IT.

Then again, everybody pretty much knows about it by now, including Baena and Shriver, so why waste time on the nitty gritty of fornicating with the help.

The book is called Total Recall, though, not Selective Recall. Burn.

Baena was identified as Schwarzenegger’s mistress in May 2011.