Jersey Shore Recap: Who Nibbled at Deena's Cake?

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That's not a euphemism or double entendre. It was a legitimate question Thursday.

This week down at the glamorous and totally disease-free New Jersey Shore ... JWoww and Rog patched things up, Sitch and Paula grew closer, Deena "did sex" with some schmoe, while someone ate her and Snooki's special cake for Danny!

How did it all play out in Seaside Heights? Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style!

Cake Thief

Deena and Snooki decide to make an apology cake for their boss. It's not a meatball cake, but it is made and frosted and decorated by them with love. Aww. Plus 12.

Once morning came, a corner of the cake was eaten! MIKE! Minus 6.

Deena ends up with cake in her face. Again, not a euphemism. Plus 4. After she says "I wanted him to get the full-on cake," Danny gives it to her, in the grill.

Cake or no cake, Snooki was late to work again, as she goes to the doctor to get treatment for her UTI. Minus 15 for us visualizing the state of Snooki's UT.

She's had 10 UTIs in the past year she says. How is that even ... Minus 10.

Snooki and JWoww accuse Situation of stealing a piece of the apology cake, but it turns out it was ... Pauly D! Minus 7 for the (unlikely) false accusation.

"Don't cook a cake in my house and expect me not to eat it," he says. Fair. Plus 5.

Deena apologizes for blaming The Situation. He'll find a way for you to make it up to him later, believe us. That or he'll blackmail you. Either way, Plus 6.

Fortunately, Jenni and Roger did not split. Basically, Rog is "like 65 years old," according to Deena, so he doesn't play games. Umm, what? Eh, Plus 8.

Mike and Paula

The Situation wishes Paula a happy birthday and tells us that she's his "main squeeze." Aww! Then it's birthday sex time. For Paula. Dirty. Plus 12.

Paula tells Sitch he makes her feel special. Time to wife her up, Mike. Since that only means "date" in the Jersey Shore world, you can handle it. Plus 6.

Besides, his actual wife, The Unit, is still in Miami. Plus 3.

Snooki breaks her one-drink rule at the club. Minus 17, because it can't be called a rule if it has never once been adhered to. Every night's an exception.

Vinny takes Pauly D on a lunch date. Bromance at its best! Plus 12. Been awhile since we've seen proper GTL (not GTGVB), followed by a romantic lunch.

Ronnie and Sammi let loose at the bar. These two have not fought  this season and now they're smiling too? It's like we don't even know them! Plus 14.

Drunk Ronnie and his "Gumby ankles" even made an appearance. Plus 4.

"I have no idea how to speak clock language." - Snooki. Plus 3.

"Honestly I drank so much that my frickin' UTI was drunk." - Snooki. Apparently the UTI is male, too. With Nicole, it really could've gone either way. Plus 4.

Pauly Plays Dumb

Deena gets closer to her hook-up, Joey, who she proceeds to totally "do sex" with (Minus 9 for that phrase) despite Pauly's prank on her. Minus 12.

The Situation tries to put the moves on Snooki. Late night. Drunk. On the roof, wearing shades in the pitch dark. Standard creeper procedure. Plus 10.

Snooki and JWoww interrogate Deena's hookup. Always funny. Plus 5. Fortunately, Snook helped him procure a condom before getting it in. *Shiver*

JWoww decides to wear a barely-there "outfit" to impress Roger. It works. Plus 15.

Unfortunately, it also works for other hornball juiceheads at the club. Minus 5.

Roger steps in when a fellow club-goer harasses and starts to grope JWoww, and $h!t is about to go DOWN when ... we fade to black. Next week ... Plus 20.


Jersey Shore ...

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