Jersey Shore Recap: Snooki's Urinary Tract Infection, Mike's Tween Angst

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This week, the Jersey Shore gang was intact again - "Vinny's home, bitches!" - but the joy of being a family again quickly gave way to a new set of problems.

Both mental and physical.

Snooki legit peed herself (and worse), while Mike began acting very un-Mike-like and even level-headed JWoww experienced some drama with her BF Roger.

How did it play out after the team got Vinny back and returned to throw it town in Seaside Heights? Come along as we recap Jersey Shore, THG style!

Snooki Crotch Shot

Vinny unpacks after returning to the shore house. Good to be back! Plus 7.

Snooki was so excited she "legit" peed herself on the dance floor and rushed off into the restroom to grab some body spray for her kooka area (above). Minus 70.

Deena gets quasi-electrocuted trying to fix her hair extensions. Plus 9.

The following day, Snooki made sure to put on two pairs of underwear in case she had another "accident." In the daytime. Snooki is officially a toddler. Plus 14.

Situation shares a suspicion that someone in the house is talking about him behind his back ... and starts being super nice to people. It's really odd, but Plus 6.

JWoww couldn't seem to get a hold of Roger. Minus 3. The Situation can't get a hold of his pants, and JWoww gets an eyeful. Plus 17. Only on Jersey Shore.

Situation Crotch Shot

At lunch, Sitch ran into some friends (or strangers, it's unclear) that was he invited to join and ultimately secluded from the group. Cue staged drama! Minus 9.

The Situation has a heart-to-heart with Ronnie and Pauly D, who is understandably weirded out by the confrontation. You are not alone there, Pauly. Plus 5.

"I just wanna know what he's up to and when he is blowing up the house," Ron says. "When are you blowing up the house, you f***ing terrorist?" Plus 10.

When all the house's bathrooms are full, Snooki obvi decides to relieve herself on the patio. We are so, so glad Jionni didn't get Snooki pregnant. Plus 10.

Yep, Snooki got a UTI, which "doesn't stand for Ultimate Tanning Institute." Not sure if that'd be better or worse than a urinary tract infection, but Minus 20.

A veterinary technician by trade (apparently), Snooki recommends drinking alcohol as a form of pain medication ... or as a leisure activity 24/7/365. Plus 6.

Lola on Jersey Shore

Snooki again dresses up to scare the roommates. Plus 18, because that is the scariest looking Easter Bunny we've ever seen, and gets us to laugh every time.

Plus 2 more for "Lola" getting confessional time.

"Ah, I hate balls being thrown at me. I just like them in my mouth." - Snooki, re: batting cages vs. other types of spherical objects and orifices. Ick. Minus 33.

Mike tells Deena and Snook that he thinks Pauly is talking trash about him? Has Pauly ever badmouthed anyone behind their back in his whole life? Minus 11.

"Mike knows nothing about loyalty and everything about betrayal." - Ron. Plus 4.

Paul DelVecchio Pic

Ronnie and the roommates play a prank on Snooki. A national pastime. Plus 5.

Snooki's dad arrives at the house in the middle of the girls' hair appointment. Now here's a guy who must be so proud of how his little girl turned out. Plus 5.

What does the Meatball Patriarch do while his daughter gets her hair done? Go to the grocery store for cranberry juice and false eyelashes. Aww. Plus 19.

The Situation runs into JWoww's boyfriend on the boardwalk. Roger is not a small man. Plus 3, because that thought alone should keep Mike sort of in line.

And Plus 6 for Mike letting J know he's lurking close by and ducking her.

Deena listens to Situation talk about feelings during a shift at the Shore Store. This guy is either starved for attention or just becoming unglued. Minus 13.

J Wow Pic

JWoww gets upset when she finds out that her boyfriend has been ignoring her. Poor girl. Somehow we get the impression this isn't going to end well. Minus 7.

Mike continued his apologetic run with the guys, saying he knew who's stirring the pot and it's not them. It's Snooki, clearly. Plus 30, because despite being a major d-bag at times, Mike always has to have an angle to start drama. Keeps it lively.

Mike is officially a 12-year-old girl, we've decided. Minus 5. Where is Paula when you need her. Call AAA and get your act together, man. Get out of your own head.

"Mike is like a broken record - he sticks to one topic a day." - Pauly. Plus 6.

Retaliation is coming soon, apparently. It involves the Unit. Minus 7.


Jersey Shore ...

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