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The Virgin Diaries made its (sort of) anticipated premiere Sunday, and TLC’s new gawk-fest was every bit as “educational” or exploitative as you would expect.

Viewers of the TLC show soon found out that Shanna and Ryan – whose awkward wedding day kiss was promoted in previews, soon consummate their marriage.

The results of their first fornication foray? Mixed.

After losing their virginity together on their wedding night, Ryan said: “It was good, but not as good as I was expecting … It was not really like in the movies.”

No man, it’s really not. Feel ya.

Get a room you two!!

Shanna, meanwhile, tries to put a positive spin on it, calling sex with her man “an amazing experience” despite the fact that she found intercourse itself “really painful.”

Earlier, contemplating the V-card swap, she admitted she was worried. “I’m a little nervous,” she said. Nervous about actual intercourse I would say. Scared.”

Poor girl. At least it couldn’t have gone on long.

The big night began with a strategic plan:

“I think that you should take a shower first, and then I’ll take a shower, and then I’ll put on my lingerie, and I’ll come into the room,” Shanna tells her spouse.

“And I’ll have a surprise waiting for you,” says Ryan, provocatively.

The Virgin Diaries Promo

Shanna adds: “We’ll have our robes on, we’ll slowly take our robes off, then do foreplay, and then have sex.” It’s like she’s got it down to a science already!

These two, of course, were completely inexperienced – they hadn’t even kissed before swapping vows (as their bizarre stance during the wedding showed).

Note to couples out there: Abstinence is great if that’s what you’re into, but maybe practice a kiss here and there before trying it in front of a major crowd.

That part was tough to watch, and not because they tried to inhale each other’s faces. We’ve all been there. But the audience ogling/staring/laughing? Sad.

TLC exec Timothy Kuryak defended the show, saying “Losing one’s virginity is a big life decision, a seminal life moment that’s interesting to follow for TLC.”

Do you agree? What do you think of The Virgin Diaries?