The Bachelor Season Premiere Recap: Brad Womack Attacked, Swooned Over, Seeking Redemption

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THG has a very interesting relationship with The Bachelor. It's neither love-hate, nor unbridled love, nor unfiltered hate. It's hard to put our finger on.

What we do know is this. For years, we've harped on what a d!ck Brad Womack is for ditching both DeAnna Pappas and Jenni Croft on the finale.

We've also harped on what contrived nonsense this show is. That's what makes Brad's return this season so oddly compelling: Its genuineness.

Brad Womack, Bachelor Cast

THE LUCKY 30: One of these women will become Mrs. Brad Womack. Or two of them will be dumped on the season finale. You never know with Brad!

For all the scripted scenes, cue cards, bogus promos and manufactured drama, Brad bailing on both Season 11 finalists was one of the franchise's best moments.

He did what he felt was right, fallout be damned. Now he's back, and for the right reasons too. Unlike that stiff Jake Pavelka, you can tell it's not about the fame.

Will he pick someone this time? Will the women trust him? For once, The Bachelor may not even need a fake scandal. An actual, real story line has written itself.

Follow the jump for THG's patented +/- recap of all the action!

This is all we're going to say about it for now, but The Bachelor spoilers we know put some events from the season premiere in an interesting light. Plus 9.

Jenni, who is married, and DeAnna, who is engaged, return for a segment designed to give Brad "closure." Minus 14 for a stunt designed just for viewers.

Plus 8 for Emily Maynard, who will easily go down as one of the most likable, genuine girls in Bachelor history, even if she doesn't go far ... which she will.

The whole "I've changed" angle is already played out an hour into the season. What did he do wrong, exactly? Not want to get married by mistake? Minus 5.

Brad: I am so damaged. Look at my abs. Plus 7. See video below.

Chantal O’Brien is the girl who slaps Brad, courtesy of “every woman in America,” as she steps out of the limo. Plus 3 for the look on his face afterward.

Minus 11, though, because the women didn't even know Brad would be The Bachelor, and she was obviously told to do this so ABC could run the promo.

Ashley Spivey is the recipient of the first impression rose. Solid choice, Brad, we must say. She could very well go on to be this year's Jenni Croft. Plus 5.

Sarah Powell makes Brad get down on one knee and ... repeat what she tells him to say. These producers women really thought of everything. Minus 3.

Brad is acting way too nice and apologetic. You can tell he feels bad about what he did before, and is a good guy, so Plus 6, but give it a rest and move on.

Seriously, Fang Girl is kind of awesome, but needs to go. It looks like she carved her own teeth down to channel a Breaking Dawn character. Wow. Minus 5.

Alli drags him away, Renee butts. Renee thinks she has him, Jill swoops in. Renee gets another chance, but Stacey nabs him. Year after year, classic. Plus 7.

My, Chris Harrison is looking even more dapper in his pimpdom. Plus 5.

Who knew these women all kept their junior prom dresses? Minus 3.

This year's Bachelor drinking game would center on the terms "changed man," "three years," and "intensive therapy." And you would get drunk. Plus 8.

Alli Travis bends over and asks what he thinks of her ass. You know, 'cause her ex wanted a girl with a more petite ass. Have people no shame?! Minus 4.

You know 3-4 of these women will be on Bachelor Pad come July. Plus 4.

TOTAL: +17.

ROSE RECIPIENTS: Alli Travis, Ashley Hebert, Ashley Spivey, Britt Billmaier, Chantal O’Brien, Emily Maynard, Jackie Gordon, Keltie Colleen, Kim Coon, Lindsay Hill, Lisa Morrisey, Madison Garton, Marissa May, Meghan Merritt, Melissa Schreiber, Michelle Money, Raichel Goodyear, Sarah Powell, Shawntel Newton, Stacey Queripel.

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The Bachelor Quotes

There’s still a lot of growing to do in our relationship. We will not tie the knot until I am mentally and physically prepared as well as Matt.

Shayne Lamas

It was a fairytale proposal like I’ve always dreamed about. I forgot that there [were] cameras around. In that moment, it was just Matt and I and it was the most amazing moment of my entire life.

Shayne Lamas [on proposal by Matt Grant]