Those hoping for major fireworks or knock-down, drag-out brawls on the Jersey Shore Season 2 reunion special last night came away sorely disappointed.
On some reality shows, the reunion special is the best part. It's when Teresa Giudice flips tables and labels Danielle Staub a prostitution whores. Not here.
These people are all flirting with prostitution whore status, too. Anyway, here's THG's usual +/- recap of last night. Aww yeah, reunion show recap YEAH!!
There's no love lost between Ron and JWoww after The Note.
One could argue this show is depressing, and that its cast is a bunch of losers who reflect badly on our society. Or one could say It's T-shirt tiiiiiime!! Plus 7.
Could host Julissa Bermudez be more robotic? They should have gotten Angelina Pivarnick to host without the cast knowing. We'd pay to see that. Minus 5.
Speaking of Ange, Ronnie had one of the best Jersey Shore quotes last night: "How could you not smush if you get Fossil watch? And it was white!" Plus 9.With a few exceptions, we basically got a clip show of Season 2 debauchery, with surprisingly little in the way of original fireworks. In a word, eh. Minus 8.
Sitch to Sam: "Regardless of who wrote the note, who didn't write it, who told you in person, the only person you could possibly be mad at was Ron." Plus 4.
Sitch to Ron: "Do you love that girl? Then you should be thanking me, because I'm the only one who goes up and talks to her when she's crying." Plus 4.
Yeah, Ronnie and Sammi are still together. Minus 13.
Vinny and Pauly put the VP in MVP. Or just VP.
Vinny and Pauly D seem somewhat genuine, despite their flaws. The other idiots seem like HGH-fueled caricatures of themselves at this point. Minus 10.
Ron claimed J-Woww offered to hook up with him if Sammi hooked up with Sitch. JWoww responded: "I'd rather just f--k Pauly." We can see that. Plus 5.
When footage played of Sitch's attempted robbery, Vinny declared: "It might be MVP to him, but it's VP to me." Ooooh, that's gotta burn, Sitch. Plus 4.
Number of times The Situation said situation? We have no idea, we lost count, since we were taking a shot each time. But it's awesomely high. Plus 6.
Deleted scenes: Snooki farts a lot, etc. Zzz. Minus 3.
Until Season Three of Jersey Shore begins ...
TOTAL: Even. SEASON TOTAL: +143.