Jersey Shore Recap: Tropical Storm Nicole Throws Down, Wins Battle of the Guidettes

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Oh, Angeliner. We're sort of going to miss you.

The second-grade grammar, the lack of personal hygiene, the drama. The house won't be the same, even if it's better off without this classy Staten Island product.

Following many near-fights and one epic throwdown, Angelina Pivarnick bid farewell to Jersey Shore for the second straight year. Like we said, for the best.

As always, THG's here to break down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the show in its patented +/- recap below ...

Eff Off

Angelina Pivarnick summed up in a single image.

Angelina Pivarnick deserves a Plus 10 right off the bat for getting every single cast member - most of whom are genuinely nice people despite their trashy antics - to despise her. A rare feat. Drama sometimes happens, but this girl just creates it.

"I think Angelina loves my sloppy seconds," Snooki stated. "She goes to Vinny and she's trying to go to what's-his-name. Like, what are you doing? If you wanna make out with me, just ask. I will say yes." Gross, really? Minus 8.

Pauly D is seriously wifing up his Cuban girl! Plus 5.

Angelina tells the cast they're fake. FAKE! Minus 2.

JWOWW provides an unlikely shoulder for Angelina to cry on. Wasted effort in the end, but Plus 7 for trying, because that showed JWoww is actually a reasonable girl.

Ronnie almost vomits after smelling a gross leftover sandwich in the car. We have a similar reaction about 5-6 times each week when we watch Jersey Shore. Minus 6.

The Situation brings his Canadian lady home for a hook up. Then, ever the gentleman, hails a cab for his conquest. Plus 3, because you gotta show 'em the respect.

Situation Conquest

This girl is about to bring some diseases back to Canada.

Pauly D sings a new song, "Wake-Up-The-Whole-House-TIIIIIIIME!" Plus 4.

JWOWW tearfully says goodbye to boyfriend Tom. Minus 5 because we know they break up and she's on to Roger Williams instead. A guy named that, not the school.

Snooki's list of criteria for the tanned gorilla juicehead nympho of her dreams: Guido; big sense of humor; likes to party; fist-pumps; frolics; isn't a jerkoff; a dork at heart; pays for meals; smells good; likes pickles; takes interest in my hobbies; very protective; not so serious; likes to sleep in. Plus 17, because she's so the frolicking type, and a pickle allergy is a deal-breaker. What are her hobbies, though?

Snooki-Angelina Fight

Oh, no ... get that table out of the way!

Angelina: "I don't give a f*%k about anybody in this house. All of youse in this house are f*%king fake. And I want you all to know that I can't stand any of youse. Fake motherf*%kers, all of you." Youse is not a word, dumbass. Minus 26.

Snooki: "Hold my earrings." That sound you hear is of it BEING ON! Plus 10.

Rather than intervening, The Situation moves a table out of the way. Plus 9.

Man, Angelina and Snooki throw the f*%k down. Hair grabbing, tumbling, and head locks ensue. Physically, it is uncertain who won this scrap fest, but Snook has a 6-0 advantage in friends. Game, set, match Nicole. Ange leaves. FOR GOOD. Plus 12.

Minus 4 for the umpteenth upskirt shot, though. Enough already.


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