Jersey Shore Recap: Smush It Real Good!

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Sookie smushed, Vinny made out with Angelina and viewers tried to keep their food down from watching these actions take place on last night's installment of Jersey Shore.

But, don't worry, we're troopers. THG is here here with our exclusive, weekly, point-based review to go over what went down on "Sleeping with the Enemy"...

Vinny and Angelina in Bed

We start off with last week's cat fight, but it turns to shoves between Ronnie and Vinny? -3.

Wait: Melissa is still there? -2.

Okay, for manning up and Ronnie apologizing to Vinny. +5.

Never saw this coming, but the next day, Jenni calls out of work because of broken fingernails, while Sammi goes in missing some? +5 to our annoying for debbie downer growing some balls.

At the beach, Pauly D hits on a girl with a giant herpes sore.  Props to MTV blurring out her face while keep the sore in plain view. +3 for sex education.

At work, Angelina attempts to talk shit about the girls to Mike.  Way to humor her, buddy. +3.

There's nothing like the whole crew sitting around discussing why Angelina should let her boy "hit that." +3.

Seriously, Melissa is still there?!? -4.

Okay, so somehow all three separate groups: Snookie /Jenny, Sammie and the boys, and Angelina (on her date) all end up in Felt?  That's even cheesy by MTV reality standards. -5.

Wait, did we just see The Situation without hair gel when he walked Melissa to the cab? +10.  But -5 to Melissa for being the boring lump still being there.

Ronnie and Sammi Smooch

Ugh, do we have to sit through another scene of Angelina and Vinny arguing? -5.  Just hook up already! Finally, what we paid for.  The crew heads to a club (Tantra) and Vinny manages to brig home a girl all by himself. We're as proud of him as Pauly. +5.

Snookie, meanwhile, brings home her own guy, Dennis.  Dude seriously wants to eat before smushing?  What's with these guys on this show!? -10.

But when he finally does smush, it's epic as Snookie asks his last name and if he has any children between moans. Sorry, JWOWW, your lack of sleep is worth it. +10.

The next day, Snookie tries to pretend like she didn't have sex the night before, and stays in and invites Dennis back. -5 for shameful lying.  There are cameras you know.

Snookie has Dennis bring over a guy for Jenni, who turns out to be a man-grenade. +5 to the MTV editors for the title card and sound effect. +3 to Jenni for just walking out of the room and +2 more to Snookie for just kicking the friend out so she can get some.  Are we watching the guys here?

The highlight of the episode was clearly the rest of the crew heading to a club (MI-VI) and Angelina and Vinny making out on the ride home. -5 for gross incest in the house, but +4 for Ronnie walking in and his amount of mockery: "Staten Island dump!"

TOTAL: +14. SEASON: +107.

Smush Room Cleaner