Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol after this season.
This news is very sad for those of us who appreciate Simon’s sarcasm, wit, honesty and entertainment value as a whole. But it also offers an opportunity for Idol to truly branch out.
Sure, Ellen DeGeneres as a judge (starting February 9) is a departure from the show’s typical, music-driven basis for selecting its panelists. However, we’re talking about change fans can truly believe in…
… which brings us to our first proposed replacement for Cowell. He, along with many of the options below, might not seem equipped for the job. But hear us out, and then let us know who you wanna see sit in Simon’s seat in 2011:
Barack Obama: As someone who once got 66,882,230 votes in a single day, he’s the only guy more popular than the show. Or at least better known. Plus, can you imagine the criticism? “Look … Kris … You possess a terrific talent, but at the end of the day, Adam possesses the kind of change that can bring the music world together.”
Nelson from The Simpsons: Really, how much more analysis do 90 percent of the performances need than a simple: “HA-ha!”
Donald Trump: Every critique of his will be the absolute BEST!
OBAMA, TRUMP, WOODS OR SOMEONE ELSE? WHO SHOULD BE THE NEXT AMERICAN IDOL JUDGE?
Gilbert Arenas. Pros: Will bring hip vibe, comic relief to the panel. Cons: May pull piece on a contestant after a crappy performance, as a “joke” of course.
Tiger Woods: He has a lot of free time these days and knows a lot about young talent. Just keep him away from the female contestants.
Carson Daly: If only he actually existed.
Simon Cow: He’ll be moo-ved by the ballads each week and will always udder praise. Oh, wait, sorry, we thought we were writing jokes for Jay Leno.