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According to Carrie Prejean, we now know what Jesus would do.

He’d exploit his religion like Denise Richards exploits her children, ignore the concept of forgiveness and seek as much money and retribution as humanly possible.

Following her June 10 dethroning as Miss California, Prejean has filed a lawsuit against pageant officials Shanna Moakler and Keith Lewis.

As first reported by TMZ, the suit doesn’t name Donald Trump (even though he’s the one that fired her), and it accuses Moakler and Lewis of religious discrimination, defamation, public disclosure of private facts, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and negligent infliction of emotional distress.

The final accusation is our favorite: Prejean is suing two people for accidentally hurting her feelings.

According to Carrie, Miss California officials “fabricated a fraudulent list of some 50 public appearances allegedly missed by Prejean which they released to the media in order to justify her termination as Miss California USA” and tried to “set up Prejean to have her dismissed as Miss California USA by asking her to do a Playboy photo shoot for $120,000.”

 
There are some holes in this story, of course. For example, we’ve actually seen the emails between Lewis and Prejean. It’s simply untrue that Miss California asked her to pose in Playboy. (Also, Carrie writes like a fourth grader.)

Trump cited Prejean’s insistence of disobeying her contract as the basis for her firing.

It seemed like a reasonable decision, considering Prejean posted topless on two different occasions and lied about it in her Miss California contract. She also granted interview requests without first running them by her employer.

Because it’s been awhile since Carrie Prejean was in the news (and we’ve missed her like a case of the chicken pox), refresh your memory of these half-naked pics by clicking on the photos below: