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You won’t believe your ears … until they bleed.

Under the stage name “The Great White,” Spencer Pratt of The Hills released a new rap song, “I’m a Celebrity,” on Ryan Seacrest’s KIIS-FM radio show today.

It’s as bad as you think – as is his obligatory self-promotion.

“First I took over TV, the tabloids and the Internet – now I’m going after the airwaves,” the reality TV villain said. “Nothing can stop ‘The Great White.'”

Some of the brain-melting lyrics are as follows:

“Baby I get paid… I’ve been around the world, but I’m not finished yet… first Tweet of the day, I put my swag on… I’m in the limelight and I love it like my wife.”

The Hills’ Spencer Pratt makes music and douchebag history, becoming the first human being to ever reference his “first Tweet of the day” over a hip-hop beat.

Last month, new wife Heidi Montag said she wants her husband to sing and rap on her forthcoming, equally unlistenable pop record, saying: “Spencer Pratt is amazing. I’d love to get him on my album. He sings, he raps – he does everything.”

Yes, he sure does, Heidi. Way to refer to him by his first and last name, because we were a little unclear on who you were talking about.

If you really insist on torturing yourself that badly, grab a fist full of Advil and listen to this unparalleled awfulness – with which Pratt is promoting his upcoming stint on I’m Not A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here – by clicking here.