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The Hollywood Gossip staff gives Ali Lohan seven months until her first DUI. Maybe a year until her first threesome.

With the younger sister of Lindsay Lohan making it no secret that she’s addicted to fame and fortune in a recent interview with Teen Vogue, the future is far from bright for this hopeful celebrity.

Here’s a recap her Ali’s interview with the magazine:

Lindsay and Bader Image

On her new reality TV show: “It’s not all that fake stuff. It’s just what we do in our everyday life.”

On her role model big sister: “I grew up watching Lindsay and it made me want to do what she does. Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you… it’s so cool when people look up to you. I’ve already been asked for my autograph and it’s just a really good feeling to have.”

Ali Lohan, seen here with her role model of a sister, can’t wait to make entertainment news headlines.

On how she really wants to become an actress, singer and fashion designer: “Really bad, so bad. So bad you don’t even know. And now, it’s actually happening.”

Hooray! Soon enough, STD tests and horrific movie reviews for your work will also be happening, Ali.