Terrorists Hope to Kill Britney Spears, Madonna

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Please, no one tell Chris Crocker the following.

We fear for what that insane YouTube poster and Britney Spears fan would do if he discovered that terrorists were out to murder his beloved train wreck. And this was before they saw her MTV Video Music Awards performance!

Wow What a Dick

According to Aaron Klein's new book, "Schmoozing with Terrorists," our nation's enemies love celebrity gossip as much as we do.

In an interview with hater Muhammad Abdel-Al, the bad guy referred to Britney and Madonna as "prostitutes" and said: "If these two... keep doing what they will do, we of course will punish them... We can stone them and even we can kill them."

It's true. Check out the book's table of contents for yourself:


Of course, there are some celebrities the terrorists love, such as Richard Gere, Jane Fonda and Sean Penn. We're also guessing they won't do harm to Miss Iran, Sepideh Haftgoli... although she is dating an American in Andy Baldwin. So it's hard to say.

Naturally, the book also claims Jihadists love Mel Gibson.

Which is ironic. Because they hate freeeedooooom!

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Britney Spears Biography

Check Please!
Wow. Britney Spears is ... just.... OMG. Wow. Just wow. With this girl, that's about all we can say at this point. Once the biggest... More »
Kentwood, Louisiana
Full Name
Britney Jean Spears

Britney Spears Quotes

I miss it here so much! I love it so much! It makes me it's kinda like bittersweet coming here because I used to live here for two years. And when I come here, it's like, man, I wish I had my apartment here still.

Britney Spears [on New York City]

MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs?

Britney Spears