Paris Hilton Released from Prison

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Hey, Nicole Richie, don't be afraid of jail.

All you need to do is whine as much as your reality show cohort Paris Hilton and you'll be set free. It's as simple as 1-2-woe-is-me.


In a pathetic display of giving in to the rich and spoiled, the L.A. County Sheriff's Department has released Paris from jail after a whole three days behind bars. Spokesperson Steve Whitmore claimed Hilton was released due to medical reasons he cannot disclose.

Funny. We didn't know "money" was deemed a "medical reason." We also didn't know Victoria Beckham could be named Woman of the Year. Guess nothing should come as a surprise at this point.

Hilton has been fitted for an ankle bracelet and placed under house arrest in her West Hollywood home for 40 days. After this time is up, Whitmore says she will have "fulfilled her debt to society." 

The Hollywood Gossip doesn't think this is possible until she drowns in a pool of raw sewage, however. Either that, or she's forced to stand in front of an onslaught of Blake Fielder-Civil snot rockets for the duration of her house arrest.

The justice system should be more ashamed of itself than Alex Rodriguez should be for cheating on his wife.

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Paris Hilton Biography

Ho Train On Us Weekly Cover
Paris Hilton is a party host, bad actress, singer, model and painfully annoying skank based in Southern California. This former A-list... More »
New York, New York
Full Name
Paris Whitney Hilton

Paris Hilton Quotes

We want to stay together forever. I wouldn't do a Vegas [wedding]. I don't know where or when but I do want it to be romantic.

Paris Hilton [on Benji Madden]

He's my best friend. He's just different from any guy that I've ever been with. I just trust him completely, and I know that he'd be there for me, no matter what.

Paris Hilton [on Benji Madden]