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Harry Morton slept with the STD farm known as Lindsay Lohan.

This should prove he doesn’t have a very good head on his shoulders.

But in case you needed more proof of the full deck Morton isn’t playing with, check this out: the former celebrity boyfriend has started a legal war with the person who, posing as Harry, posted naked pictures of his friends on a MySpace page. Just one hiccup:

Morton doesn’t know who he’s suing.

We haven’t laughed this hard at a MySpace-related event since Melissa Joan Hart told off Chris Daughtry.

In a lawsuit filed Thursday in Los Angeles County Superior court, Morton is going after an unknown cyber-troublemaker he calls “Jane Doe.” In the suit, Morton claims “Doe” posted nude photographs of one of his friends (no, not Sean Stewart nude) and a false statement that the friend had AIDS.

Morton alleges that the fake page was created to give the impression he had created it himself.

The owner of the famous Pink Taco restaurant chain says he suffered “emotional distress,” was forced to “rehabilitate his reputation” and “lost business” due to the MySpace debacle. This all implies that Morton had a reputation beyond Firecrotch Queen Conquerer in the first place.

Our celebrity gossip sources were unable to contact Jane Doe, either. Because nobody knows who she is.