Skip to Content

Jessica Simpson gets pumped by John Mayer, if you know what we’re saying. We’re saying they probably have the sex (no one dates her for her personality).

Well, before a trip to Jessica Simpson‘s love nest, Mayer practiced a different kind of pumping – dispensing petroleum byproducts into his phat ryde.

Taylor Swift and John Mayer Together Photo
(Dimitrios Kambouris)

The price of gas there in Santa Monica ($3.09/gallon) might give most of us a heart attack, but Mayer needs to get oiled up, if you know what we’re saying. Forget it.

It’s nice to see that he can handle the task himself, though. Mischa Barton would be so proud… and Oprah would no doubt be envious.

One wonders what the expression on his face suggests, however. Are the jugs of motor oil he’s holding conjuring up images of Jessica Simpson’s jugs?

Probably not. But that is some rack. Damn. Come on, those things are big. They’re the current frontrunner in our celebrity boobs poll, in fact!