Hulk Hogan Ponders Anna Nicole Smith Saga

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Two more weeks. That's how much longer we have to wait until the paternity test results confirm who the daddy of Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern officially is.

For those of you who have been living under a rock, or have better things to do than follow this saga (oh, how we simultaneously envy and pity you), two dudes both claim to be the father of the latest spawn of Anna Nicole Smith. Why not one but two men, both able-bodied, would sleep with this nutcase, we have no plausible explanation. But that's a question for another time... and one to which there is probably no answer.

Bloodied Hulk

The fact remains that celebrity photographer Larry Birkhead claims he knocked up the former Playboy bunny a year ago on New Year's Eve (apparently they only slept together once?), and is the heavy favorite to be declared the baby's daddy. But last summer, the crazy Smith eloped with Howard K. Stern, who also says he sired poor little Dannielynn.

It's a chain of events that both amuses and confuses. But you can't get it off your mind when you are unlucky enough to see Smith. Just ask this WWE legend and absolutely enormous mustachioed man, Hulk Hogan, seen below partying with Smith:

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Hulk Hogan Quotes

I had a real period where I had a tough, tough time. I got caught off guard with this divorce thing. I didn't see it coming. My son is doing better. I pray for my wife every day. I am very grateful because we realize how very blessed we are. Now that we are aware, we are walking in the spirit of God. We are cool. We are way cool.

Hulk Hogan

I was offered lots of [reality] shows when I was making my career comeback against The Rock, but I kept saying no. But years later, it was my daughter’s career and son’s racing career that we were thinking about. We saw the Ashlee Simpson show and Jessica Simpson’s and Lindsay Lohan on the big screen and we just didn’t haven’t a vehicle to compete. But I considered it, because this time it was about the Hogan family rather than Hulk Hogan; they all wanted to do it and I tried to warn them about what they were in for. Now look what happened.

Hulk Hogan