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The concept of a Jessica Simpson sex tape streaming live over the Internets is enough to millions upon millions of men excited (sick bastards). Not to mention add to the already considerable wealth of celebrity porn broker god David Hans Schmidt.

But it’s Jessica herself who’s getting the most riled up. As she said when the story broke yesterday, she’s upset that the terms “Jessica Simpson” and “sex tape” are being used in the same sentence. Is that because she’s just offended at the thought, or because it’s real, it’s raw, and it’s kinky — and she’s petrified it’ll actually get out?!

 

Jessica Simpson Is 4 Years Sober
Photo via Instagram

Eh? Probably the former. We doubt very much that a Jessica Simpson sex tape exists, not unlike the rumored Britney Spears sex tape of weeks past. But if there were a tape of Jessica being railed six ways from Tuesday by her ex-husband, Nick Lachey, and it were in the hands of a sketchy celebrity skin slinger, she probably would react in this manner. Wouldn’t you?