Skip to Content

You need connections to make it in almost any vocation. Few online copy writers can earn a living unless they have a friend in the business, for example.

So it’s not the fact that Brooke Hogan has so blatantly ridden her father’s large biceps and coat tails to stardom that irks us; it’s that she is both talentless and unattractive. Despite that double whammy, the sorry excuse for a singer is this month’s FHM cover girl.

Brooke Hogan at 2017 Grammys
Photo via Getty Images

What do home videos of you performing look like?
There’s one of me at 13 in my Catholic-school uniform breaking it down to “. . . Baby One More Time” [by Britney Spears]. I’ve wanted to be sexy ever since I was little. When my friends were dressing as French maids for Halloween in the eighth grade, I ordered a hot cop outfit from Frederick’s of Hollywood. When I put it on, my parents said, “Brooke, go back inside.”

How did boys relate to you growing up?
In sixth grade, they ignored me because I had womanly curves like their moms. By eighth grade, they were realizing, “Wait, she has curves.” I’d walk around the mall with my mom and she’d say, “People used to look at me; now they’re looking straight through me at you.” Trust me. I had fun with it.

So you’re a tease?
I tease boys to the point where I have to tell them, “Wait, I didn’t mean that – back off!” I show it off, but I’ve never been promiscuous or a little slut. I’m still a virgin. I’ll tell you guys that, but I’m not going to bring it up after this because I may change my mind one day.”

** THG Note: In a battle of supposed virgins, Hilary Duff would totally kick Brooke’s behind.

Why would a guy be lucky to be with you?
There are girls who’ll give it up and gold-dig (THG Note: we didn’t see that Heather Mills slight coming!) , but I’m the one guys want to marry. So far, I’ve had about 20 proposals, and they’ve all been from pretty nice guys. I take care of my guys. I’m affectionate and I give great back rubs.

What do guys get wrong about you?
Guys want to believe that I’m this daddy’s girl dying to get out and be mischievous – and they all want to be the one to show me the ropes.

What’s the most embarrassing thing your father [WWE legend, Hulk Hogan] has done in front of a boyfriend?
He asked one guy, “Have you had an AIDS test?” I never saw that guy again.

How have you used your sexiness for evil?

I was at Burger King the other day and the guy said, “Damn, you are so fine,” and he gave me extra fries. Don’t tell my dad, though, because he doesn’t want me eating fast food. I’ll walk around the house in a bathing suit and he’ll say, “Wow, you really look good,” or, “You’re getting a little chunky there, Brooke.”

Which of your father’s co-workers do you have a crush on?
Randy Orton’s really hot. Whenever I see a guy in tight spandex, I’m like, “Damn!”

Could you ever fall in love with a mustache-wearing man?

I like a bit of scruff, but I couldn’t go for a full-blown Fu Manchu – that’s my dad, not my boyfriend.

When you found out that wrestling was scripted, was it like learning that Santa didn’t exist?
I was relieved because I knew that the other guy wasn’t trying to kill my dad. My mom had to explain that to me when I was 6 because I used to freak out. I hated my mom for making me watch him get beat up. I didn’t find out the truth about Santa until I was 13.

Do guys try to impress you by ripping off their shirts?

Boys know to stay away from the wrestling subject. If you really want to get to me, be funny and be a gentleman. That’s all I ask. Your job and your money don’t matter to me. Seriously, I could fall for a guy who worked at McDonald’s.