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If you’re Beyonce, which would you prefer:

  • Over 6,600 fans banding together and demanding a reshooting of the video for your song, “Deja Vu?”
  • Or your estranged father coming to your very strange defense?

Don’t worry, fans, if you’re a recently engaged diva, you can have both!

Beyonce Premiere Pic

For weeks now, people with no life enthusiasts have come together to sign a petition “for the advocacy of having Ms. Beyoncé Knowles, Columbia Records, Music World Entertainment, and all other entities associated with the creative process of creating the long-form music video known as ‘Deja Vu’ reshoot aforementioned video immediately.”

But now Matthew Knowles has something to say to these critics. Uh-oh. He issued the following, confounding, emphatic statement:

“It is apparent that there is a consistent plan by some to create chaos around Beyoncé’s “B’Day” album release on September 5 in the U.S …”

Okay, so far, so good enough. Let’s see if it gets any nuttier:

“First, it was a petition against the single, “Deja Vu,” then a rumor regarding conflict between Beyoncé and Rihanna, seizures caused by the “Ring the Alarm” video, putting out a single to compete with LeToya’s album and now to add to all the ridiculous rumors, is my plan to postpone the release of her “B’Day” album.

What will be next? Beyoncé’s cut off all her hair? Dyed it green? Maybe she’s singing the songs in reverse with some hidden subliminal message!”

Right. Maybe. But here’s what we really wanna see: an overly protective, psychotic battle of the spotlight-craving fathers between Mr. Knowles and Joe Simpson, father of Ashlee Simpson and Jessica Simpson.

Let’s ring THAT alarm and see what happens!