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We love Jeremy Piven. He makes us laugh. He loves his mom. But his taste in party guests sucks more than one of those featured on the list.

Naturally, we’re talking about Lindsay Lohan. When Piven celebrated his 41st birthday over the weekend at the Polaroid Beach House in Malibu, the only celebs anywhere to be found were Molly Sims and Lohan.

Lohan, who has a cameo on Entourage this season – hopefully as the young, spoiled Hollywood starlet that is run over by a mac truck – entertained the host in two different flesh-colored bikinis and heels. What else would she have worn, right?

“I’m going to be on your show!” Lohan told Piven.

“Really! Any scenes with me?” the actor joked in a pseudo-sexual way as Lohan giggled and The Gossip threw up a little bit.

Later, boy toy du jour, Harry Morton, showed up and Lohan greeted the Hard Rock heir with a hug and kiss. “I’m so happy right now!” she said. “He’s such a great person and influence on me.”

Yeah. An alcoholic, drug-laden influence.
The rest of the day was spent with Lohan playing records in the DJ booth, while the birthday boy spent the afternoon drinking beer, mingling with women and playing the drums. Piven also responded to the absurd notion that a reality TV show was in his future.

“I don’t need to do a reality show, I’m on a successful TV show,” he said.