A testicle-eating fish known as Pacu has been turning up further and further from its native Amazon habitat, with sightings reported in Scandinavia, France and Illinois.
And now Northern New Jersey.
Tom Boylan hooked a 10-inch-long Pacu at Third Ward Veteran's Memorial Park in Passaic, N.J., just 10 miles from NYC, according to The Bergen Record.
The species is known for its wide teeth shaped like molars and strong jaw muscles that allow them to bust open tree nuts and other tough aquatic foods.
Terrifyingly, however, they mistake human cojones for tree nuts. Two men in New Guinea reportedly died from blood loss after a Pacu chomped on theirs.
The testicle-eating fish, which migrate upstream in order to spawn, can weigh up to 55 pounds and grow up to 3-4 feet in length when they reaches maturity.
“Most likely, someone had [the 10-inch Pacu] in their fish tank and it grew too big, so they dumped it,” Pat Egan, manager at Absolutely Fish, said.
“We call them ‘tank busters.’ We don’t even sell them, they grow so big."
While the news of a Pacu in Passaic County is likely to scare some local residents, the good news is that the fish reportedly can't survive cold temperatures.
Garden State swimmers should be safe by spring ... at least until climate change warms all bodies of water by a few degrees and then WHO KNOWS.
Better just wear a cup at all times.