The Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion Recap: Liars, Liars, Pants on Fire

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Welcome back for Part Two of the The Real Housewives of Orange County reunion!

After the ladies grilled Gretchen on her maybe-more-than-friends relationship with a mystery dude during her late fiance' Jeff's illness - an event that happened SEASONS ago and was mentioned in passing during the 100th episode special - Andy Cohen will finally give the fashion maven a chance to turn the tables on the girls.

Will Gretchen get closure from her so-called "friends"? Ehhh, probably not. 

If there's one thing the previews tell us, it's that the ladies better be wearing waterproof mascara. Let's get started with our THG +/- recap, shall we?

Sitting Down With Andy Cohen

Minus 10 for hearing Vicki say "whoop it up" again. And Minus 15 for reliving Stripper-gate. 

Vomit. Minus 45 for hearing about Jim's Big Jim. OMG. Vomit and brain bleach and more vomit. And mouthwash.

Lydia says she'll be open with her kids about her mom's pot-smoking ways, thanks in part to the show. Vicki's never smoked pot and doesn't think her mom should smoke it either. Um. Okay then.

Tamra looks visibly upset when Andy brings up the secrets she revealed this season. She says that opening up about her past wasn't what she planned to talk about at the Women's Expo, but she did and she's glad she did.

None of Tamra's friends or family knew any of her story. 

She breaks down when she talks about Ryan and his struggles with mental health. Gretchen asks if Tamra feels lighter after revealing this part of herself and Tamra says yes. Gretchen encourages her to keep talking. Plus 15.

This is one big therapy sesh for Tamra. 

Alexis says that she could tell Tamra was sincere when she made her apology. Alexis forgives her. And probably forgets, too.

A caller says she doesn't believe Tamra's changed at all and is just trying to soften her image. Tamra says that isn't true.

More questions about the 100th episode. The one thing the women regret from the retrospective is seeing their hair. Especially Vicki. And her hair was pretty bad, so yeah. I'll give her that.

Gretchen Talks Girl Code

Talk turns to Gretchen again and the fact that Jo called her out on her relationship with Slade. Jo says Gretchen broke the "Girl Code." Gretchen says she did no such thing. 

Gretchen gave back the Rolls Royce Slade got for her birthday. Plus 10.

Everyone had a beef with Gretchen this season. Everyone. It wasn't a good season for her.

They jump directly into Tamra inviting Alexis to go dress shopping with her. When Gretchen says that Tamra didn't really want Alexis at the dress shopping day, Alexis wants to know if she was really invited or not.

Tamra says yes. She was really invited and wanted there. Tamra just couldn't tell Gretchen that. Minus 9.

There's a lot of unintelligible shrieking about who's a liar and who isn't a liar and who's difficult and who isn't and I need an aspirin.

After her stunt with wearing her engagement ring from Jeff to Tamra's dress shopping day, Gretchen apparently has a problem with being happy for other people. 

And now it's time to talk about the now-canceled Malibu CountryPlus 15.

The Real Housewives of Malibu Country

Heather insists that the producers wanted a guest star to play the role of a housewife and called Gretchen who had availability issues. Then they wrote a role and called Heather specifically for that role and canned their offer to Gretchen because having two housewives from the same franchise on the show would've looked silly.

Okay. Makes sense.

Heather's story now is that she was most upset with Gretchen for ruining Tamra's dress shopping day with her story about Malibu Country.

Which doesn't make sense. Because that's not at all why Heather was upset. 

Gretchen brings a voicemail from her agent to check her availability for Malibu Country and all the other ladies chime in that they received similar calls. 

Tamra gets upset that Gretchen just stood in the corner while they were dress shopping and didn't seem at all interested in being there. 

Gee, Tamra. Do you think Alexis being there had anything to do with it? Minus 9.

Heather admits to being purposefully condescending to Gretchen in her text message about who called whom. Minus 10. She's certainly not painted herself in the best light this season. 

She and Gretchen split hairs over whether a call to Gretchen's agent is the same thing as a call from casting and Gretchen calls Heather "Miss Superior." 

Heather Dubrow's Malibu Country Face

Andy asks Gretchen if she considers any of these women her friends after this season. Gretchen says "yeah, I do." She considers Lydia and Heather friends, despite any drama this season. Plus 15.

She wishes she could be friends with Tamra and doesn't hate Alexis but doesn't know how to get things back to where they were. She has nothing at all to say about Vicki. 

Alexis says that the only reason Gretchen wanted to be friends with Tamra was because Gretchen was scared of Tamra. Tamra thinks she could get her friendship back with Gretchen but she's never going to trust her.

Tamra calls Gretchen out on saying "I'm sorry you feel that way" instead of just "I'm sorry" and Gretchen says she's heard it from two people now so she'll take a look at it. Plus 10.

The focus turns to Alexis and her claim that the women bullied her. Alexis says that the word "bully" doesn't really matter so much as the fact that the women were just mean to her. 

She's tired of hearing about it as much as everyone else is. She's past it. Plus 12. 

Heather blames Alexis for the events at the CUT Fitness party because Alexis talked over Heather. But Heather never does that, does she? Nope. Not Heather. No way. Minus 2.

Alexis Confronts The Bullies

Alexis calls Gretchen a liar and Gretchen calls Alexis fake on camera. Gretchen gets accused of being fake on camera but says the cameras actually show a lot of things about her that aren't so flattering. 

Vicki says that Gretchen is fake on camera and says she doesn't think Gretchen's proposal to Slade would've happened if she hadn't been able to do it on camera. 

Tamra says it's been discussed and there's been talk about the timing of their engagement. Lydia and Heather both question the timing and Lydia says Gretchen proposed to Slade because she didn't have a story this season. 

Heather calls her out on not inviting their friends to the engagement party. Gretchen says the girls just can't let her be happy and Heather calls the proposal "hollow." 

While watching the playback, Gretchen starts to cry. Tamra goes over to comfort her (Plus 10) while Alexis and Vicki shake their heads in disbelief. 

Tamra Comforts Gretchen

Vicki says she didn't mean to make Gretchen cry. She doesn't want Gretchen to hurt. 

Gretchen says that the thing that hurt most about the engagement party was that Alexis, the one person who never had anything negative to say about her relationship with Slade, wasn't there. 

EPISODE TOTAL: -13! SEASON TOTAL: -247!

Review

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Vickie needs to go .. She's worn out her welcome on This show.. She's worn out her "acting" and she's a bore.. Her plastic surgery is a joke cause she looks worse.. Get her off the show and leave her daughter and family on in her place ! Hoping for "bye bye Vickie, Wha-Hoo !!

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A SHOW ABOUT 'REAL HOUSEWIVES " WOULD CENTER AROUND VACUUMING , STARTING THE DISHWASHER , SKIMMING THE POOL , COOKING , DRIVING THE MINIVAN , CLEANING , AND SO FORTH . NOW , HERE WHAT WE HAVE IS THE REAL DUMMIES OF AMERICA , GRABBIN' SOME EASY MONEY AND LENDING THEMSELVES TO THE VAUDVILLE ACT OF STOOGES .... WHOM SADLY AREN'T EVEN FUNNY , JUST DROLL AND PATHETIC ..... WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A STREET POSTITUTE , AND THE REAL DUMMIES OF.... ??? STREET PROSTITUTES GET AIDS TESTED !!!!

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Is that Heather a Holier and Better than thou bitch or what? Another one where every one is wrong and she is right. They said it wrong and she said it right. Can't stand to even watch her and that Pansy she married. Gretchen has been a loser since day one. Did she think she was going to a ball in that outfit????? And Tamra is and always will be a nasty trouble making and back stabbing bitch No Vicki, your hair didn't look like that because of the conditioner, it looked like that cause you were trying to get your sexy back on...With that hair and those outfits this past season it just didn't work. You are too old and heavy to wear those outfits. As usual Alexis looked gorgeous!!!!

Ems

I'm still glad Gretchen didn't invite any of those drama queens to her engagement party. They would have ruined it. I wish Gretchen and Slade the best. I hope they are as happy in 30 years as they are today, although with anything in the OC, I won't hold my breath.

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@ ems

I agree with you, ems -- who wants a bunch of women that have openly paid snide remarks to Gretchen all season at a joyous occasion celebrating her engagement? I'm totally done with this RHOOC. Vicki can not move forward with her nonsense about slade, it's boring. Seriously, Vicki's plastic surgery made her look worse. She should have kept her original looks -- even if it wasn't perfect. All of these housewives are like "dogs with a bone" they just can't let go!!! Who wants to rehash old episodes of this show. Certainly not me -- bye bye show -- now let's see what else I can watch . . .

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@ LizFromNYC

I am a therapist with years of experience and believe me, Gretchen was faking the tears. She is always after attention. That engagement was the biggest show I have ever seen. She cannot sing and the tears of Slade's was also phony. But you know what, he with his broke now unemployed self and Gretchen who wants center stagee deserve each other. She probably paid for the ring totally.

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jim carrey dealt with liars so he will be brought in.

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