The Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Planning Your Demise

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The Real Housewives of Miami had to deal with the whirlwind which was "Hurricane Adriana" and we recap all of the lies and craziness in our THG +/- review.

Bridezilla Alert

In between dress shopping and warding off Frederic's advances, Adriana brought the crazy. She might still be mad at Frederic…and already married to him.

But that certainly doesn't mean she's not planning a wedding. Plus 20.

Speaking of which, why is she so ticked off at Frederic anyway. He called off their wedding five years ago. Why all the drama now?

Or is this all a big show for the cameras who were conveniently let into their bedroom to film her snubbing her hubby? Minus 8.

And she's not so upset that she won't marry him…again. But this time she wants angels flying in from heaven and hot air balloons landing on top of a church or some such nonsense.

All I know is that her wedding planner is going to charge her a fortune to pull this off but at least we should all be wildly entertained by the spectacle.  Plus 30.

Adriana's argument with Lea Black made my head spin.  Why is she looking at Lea like she's insane when she insists that she and Frederic are married. Minus 18. Legal documents say there was a wedding ceremony on Dec. 4th. Stop denying it and just own up.

I get why Lea's upset. It's not so much about the money spent but about the betrayal. Why pretend to be a single mom when you're legally married? And if they were married but separated why not just say that?

This all smells of some sort of scam.  If anyone will be responsible for Adriana's demise it will be Adriana herself.

But this isn't the only wedding in town.  Joanna Krupa is going full steam ahead with her nuptials… until Roman asks for a prenup.

Minus 25 not for the prenup but for Joanna's hesitance. They both have businesses and money of their own.

They've broken up and gotten back together often enough to make divorce a possible scenario. Why not sit down with a lawyer and protect themselves?

Lisa was more than happy to sign her prenup… of course my guess is that she came into that marriage with nothing. Now she's living in a Miami mansion and driving a Ferrari.

And can someone please make her stop hurting the poor Ferrari. Minus 40. I wince every time I hear her pop the clutch.

Lisa's new mansion is a disgusting mess. They need to knock it down just to put the cockroaches out of their misery. But when her hubby handed her the sledge hammer while she was in six inch heels, I hoped he was prepared to set her broken ankle because I honestly thought she was going to break something and it wasn't the wall. Minus 12.

Good old Daysy, Lisa's maid and best friend is flying the coop. She got her free plastic surgery and now she's moving on. Shocking? Not! Minus 17.

The best news was that we had to endure very little of Alexia this week. She was too busy reorganizing her closet with Javier.  Javier was far too happy about that. Scratch that. Javier was probably appropriately happy considering the giant check she was surely writing him for his "expertise"

I can't even guess how many thousands of dollars in shoes she had in there. But "it's a necessity. It's not a luxury."  Ugh. Minus 33. She had less than five minutes on screen and still managed to annoy me.


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